Irony is a bitch. Only in TrumpWorld would movie theaters around the country celebrate Valentine’s Day with the premiere of 50 Shades Freed, the thankfully final installment of the rocky adventures of Anastasia (Ana) Steele and Christian Grey. The Wikipedia plot summary includes the following:
Ana learns she is pregnant. Christian angrily accuses her of getting pregnant on purpose and leaves. He returns early the next morning drunk, claiming Ana will choose a baby boy over him. Ana says it could be a girl, though Christian refuses to accept that due to his sexist and chauvinistic nature. Ana becomes furious when she discovers a text message on Christian’s phone from Elena Lincoln, the woman who seduced him when he was fifteen and introduced him to the BDSM lifestyle. The message indicates they met for a drink.
The next two mornings, Anastasia and Christian barely speak to each other: Christian is angry over the unplanned pregnancy; Anastasia is upset about his late-night encounter with Elena, though Christian insists their relationship is long-since over.
Las Vegas odds-makers are saying the smart money is on this cinematic whatever not being screened in the White House private theater this evening. Might I suggest the narcissist-in-residence request a highlight film of his first year in the Oval Office appropriately titled 45’s Shades of Grey. The name is based on the fact that when it comes to morals and character, nothing in this White House is black and white. Consider the following examples:
- Careless handling of classified information is an employment deal breaker unless it involves family members and/or staffers who have pledged their loyalty to the emperor.
- Individuals accused of misdeeds or crimes are entitled to due process unless you are Hillary Clinton, Al Franken or the Central Park Five.
- Black athletes dishonor the flag when they protest police brutality but nothing is said when a White athlete (snowboarder Shaun) drags the flag through the snow at the Winter Olympics.
- Immigrants take American jobs unless they are needed to cater to the wealthy at Mar-a-Lago.
- Trashed the Clintons for taking money FOR CHARITABLE PURPOSES from entities which interacted with the federal government when Hillary was Secretary of State. Yet, Forbes reports the government owned Industrial & Commercial Bank of China, located on the 20th floor of Trump Tower, pays over $2.0 million in rent annually, although there are no public photos of the office and visitors are not welcome. Forbes created a list of 164 Trump property tenants that interact with the federal government who pay an estimated $175 million in rent each year. (Source: “Trump’s Biggest Potential Conflict of Interest Is Hiding in Plain Sight,” Forbes.com, February 13, 2018.)
- Protests against the government of Iran are encouraged yet Trump says nothing when Vladimir Putin jails the leader of the opposition movement in Russia.
- Claimed the Obama administration was derelict for not enforcing existing immigration laws yet Trump refuses to impose sanctions against the Kremlin passed by a bi-partisan, veto-proof majority of both houses of Congress in response to Russian meddling in the 2016 elections.
- Berated his predecessors for their weakness yet, when face-to-face with foreign leaders, declines to push his “America First” agenda (e.g., Mexico paying for the wall, Chinese currency manipulation, Russian cyber-attacks).
- Describes Michelle Obama’s suggestion that children eat healthy foods as the “nanny state” yet proposes the food stamp program be replaced with “Blue Apron” type prescribed meals.
- And of course, accuses everyone of spreading “fake news” while promoting “real fake news” (an oxymoron?) such as Obama’s origin of birth and Ted Cruz’s father’s role in JFK’s assassination.
The only remaining question this February 14th is, “What did Donald give Melania for Valentine’s Day and how much did Michael Cohen pay for it from his own pocket?”
UPDATE
The White House press office just announced tonight’s film will be Three Billboards Outside Washington, D.C.
For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP