Every year, about this time, we are treated to images of three wise men on camels following a star to Bethlehem. This year is no different. However, this December there is a different triad of not so wise men, and the only star they are pursuing is their own. Instead of Magi, I prefer to call them “The Unholy Trinity.” Or “The Axis of Weasel.” Or “The Three Jackasses of the Apocalypse.” You may know them better by their real names: Elon Musk, Sam Bankman-Fried and, of course, Donald J. Trump.

The stimulus for today’s blog was an encounter with an elderly man leaving “Kendall’s Bagels and More” in Palm Coast, Florida. He appeared somewhat disgruntled so I asked him, “How are you?” He replied, “Fair to middling, but the day is still young.” Not wanting to assume what he meant, I continued, “Young in a good sense or bad sense?” His cryptic answer, “I read the newspaper this morning.”

Sadly, many of today’s headlines are not likely to be the harbinger of good feelings. What might he be referring to? I thought I would share my reasons for being less than forlorn. “You know, any day you do not hold Tesla stock or invest in cryptocurrency is a good day.” He chuckled and we departed, still not knowing whether he shared my relief at not having spent $800 for a share of Tesla stock or $64,000 for one Bitcoin. Or whether he rued having made the same mistake so many others have in search of a quick return on investment.

Which brings me to the three perpetrators. Compared to Bankman-Fried, Bernie Madoff was a piker. Madoff’s mere $64.8 billion in fraudulent transactions on behalf of 4,800 clients is sofa change when stacked up against the 1.2 million registered users of Bankman-Fried’s cryptocurrency exchange. Two participants, Silicon Valley venture capital fund Sequoia and Singapore based investment company Temasek, stand to lose more than $200 million each following FTX’s bankruptcy filing. To promote his Ponzi scheme, Bankman-Fried recruited celebrities including “Seinfeld” co-creator Larry David and sports figures Tom Brady (is he now an actual goat in lower-case letters), Steph Curry, Shaquille O’Neal and Naomi Osaka.

Talk about karma, when Joseph Bankman and Barbara Fried gave birth to a son in 1992 who chose to take both his parents’ surnames, the die was cast. I anxiously await the banner headline in the Wall Street Journal upon this scammer’s conviction on 1.2 million counts of financial fraud. “BANKMAN FRIED!”

On the other hand, Elon Musk would do well to heed the advice of Major Charles Emerson Winchester III, the M*A*S*H character portrayed by the late David Ogden Stiers. When asked to hurry up with a patient to assist with another, Winchester replies, “I do one thing at a time. I do it well. Then I move on.” We now know TWO things at a time (Tesla and SpaceX) were Musk’s limit. Forays into social media, cryptocurrency and high-speed transportation (the Hyperloop) took his attention away from the enterprises that were paying the bills.

Musk, Tesla owners and Tesla stockholders have all suffered. Tesla recalls have increased ten-fold in the past two years. And brand loyalty has suffered from more competition in the EV car market as well as Musk’s success in offending demographics who were the most likely purchasers of his pro-environmental poster child. Note to Musk’s secret Santa: Give him a copy of King Midas and the Golden Touch.

I have saved the Donald for last for one simple reason. Adding the NFT Trump Superhero trading cards to all the other grifts associated with the Mar-a-Lago Prosperity Church is clearly one more act of a desperate, modern-day P. T. Barnum. I would not be surprised if the plaque on his desk reads, “A sucker is born every minute.” And while sane people may consider Trumpism an on-going threat to democracy, Trump loyalists’ more pressing concern should be Barnumism, a clear and present danger to their wallets.

There is one more thing these three incorrigibles have in common, an affinity for using the internet and social media as an instrument to promote their various hustles. Musk now has Twitter and StarLink. Trump created Truth Social. And before his arrest, Bankman-Fried talked about partnering with Solana Breakpoint, the blockchain provider for FTX, to extend use of the same technology to gaming and other on-line activities.

Maybe they could pool their declining resources and establish a single website where gullible investors could be recruited. Except for the fact it is already registered to a major sporting goods retailer, the obvious domain name for their site would DICKS.COM. NOTE: Dick’s Sporting Goods purchased the domain from its original owner (you don’t want to know), and it immediately redirects the user to dickssportinggoods.com.

For what it’s worth and Happy Holidays,
Dr. ESP