Welcome to Deprogramming101’s answer to Reddit’s popular feature “Ask Me Anything!”

Among the things I enjoy in retirement is hosting sessions of “Cinema and Conversation” at Story & Song Bookstore Bistro.  During last month’s discussion of Christopher Guest’s For Your Consideration, an attendee asked my opinion of the movies up for this year’s best picture Oscar.  In the interest of “truth in advertising,” let me begin by confessing, to date, I have only screened five of the ten nominated films. 

To set the stage, I owe the impetus for this post to my wife.  When she suggested her choice for best picture might be Top Gun: Maverick, I knew she was sending me a message.  Not so much about that particular film, but the other contenders.

I start with Triangle of Sadness, the one viewed most recently.  To paraphrase comedian Kevin Pollak’s review of The Hours (2002), “Triangle of Sadness is two hours and 27 minutes of my life I will never get back.”  This is what happens when a writer/director, in this case Ruben Ostlund, cannot decide if he wants to make a reboot of Ship of Fools, The Perfect Storm or Lord of the Flies.  You end up with Perfect Fool of the Flies.

Which brings me to Tár.  Not to be outdone, Todd Field consumed two hours 38 minutes of my life that I will never get back.  This is the Moby Dick and A Man in Full of cinema. Like Herman Melville (whaling) and Tom Wolfe (horse breeding), Field believes his audience is incapable of understanding the protagonist without a 45 minute dissertation on conducting and obsession.  An indictment shared by one critic. “If you can get through the first hour, it’s worth it.”  It reminded me of Voltaire’s quote after delivering a two volume commissioned work, “It would have been shorter if I had more time.”  Considering this was Field’s first movie in 16 years, it begs the question, “How much more time did you need?”

To make it short and sweet, did we really need The Banshees of Inisherin and Everything Everwhere All at Once to affirm the term “dysfunctional relationships” is redundant?  These stories, centered on mismatched friends and a nuclear family, both have merit.  Stellar performances.  And in the case of EEAAO, an imaginative utilization of time travel and manic editing.  Still, both films fall in line with the theme du jour, the color of angst.

To reiterate, I am not suggesting these motion pictures lack effort and professional achievement by the directors and actors.  The primary example being Elvis, which I intentionally avoided, although it was readily available on HBO MAX.  Why watch a movie about an out-of-control celebrity barreling toward an early death at the hands of a manipulative manager, when we have been subjected to the exact same story with more appropriate casting?  The Donald as Elvis and Roger Stone as Colonel Parker.  And much like best actor nominee Austin Butler, Trump and Stone seem possessed by and unable to escape their on-screen personas.

As for the other movies I have not seen, I have no interest in All Quiet on the Western Front since a reboot is being produced in real time in the trenches of the eastern front in Ukraine.  As regular followers know, I do not consider CGI an acceptable substitute for a good story and script, especially when it comes to sequels.  As you might already surmise, as far as I am concerned, Avatar: The Way of Water can go the way of the dinosaurs.

However, I am intrigued by Women Talking.  Critic Mark Kermode (Observer/UK) describes it as “A tale that is at once timely and timeless.”  If only it could be the successor to the original Star Trek, during which creator Gene Roddenberry used metaphor to address issues of social importance otherwise considered taboo by the networks’ standards and practices divisions.  Can a tale about subordination to an isolated religious community provide insight about fealty to a political cult?  Unfortunately, critic David Stratton (The Australian) warns this is a “tough-minded yet sensitive film that could pose a bit of a challenge to some audiences.”  In other words, those most in need of seeing it, most probably will not.

The one movie I anxiously await is The Fabelmans, as the result of an interview with Steven Spielberg by Stephen Colbert.  The Late Show host asked his guest about a scene from the movie in which young Sammy Fabelman makes an amateur movie starring his family and neighbors. “It suggests you see things through the lens of a camera you do not see with the naked eye.  Is that true?”  Spielberg’s positive response suggests there are more powerful insights awaiting those who watch the film.

Despite the variety of characters and locations, the selection of these 10 nominees makes sense when you remember who picks the finalists. To paraphrase Abraham Lincoln, “We in Hollywood highly resolve these movies shall not have been made in vain–that this artform shall have a rebirth–an industry of the angst-ridden, for the angst-ridden, and by the angst ridden.”

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP

Even classic works occasionally require an update. Today, it’s Aesop’s turn.

Once upon a time there was a professional football player named Anthony Darrell McFarland. His teammates called him “Booger.” He was a star defense tackle at LSU and played on two Super Bowl championship teams in the NFL. He is now an analyst on ESPN.

Last Wednesday, during a guest appearance on ESPN’s “Pardon the Interruption,” Tony Kornheiser asked him whether he thought quarterbacks Tom Brady and Aaron Rogers would retire. Kornheiser prefaced his questions by quoting former San Francisco quarterback Steve Young who once compared retirement to death.

The quarterback position is a little bit different. I saw football as a means to an end. I wasn’t in love with the game. The game was not something I stayed up at night and dreamed about. For me it was an opportunity to take care of my mother and my family. And it gave me the platform that I continue on, even to today.

For me, once the means to the end didn’t make sense anymore, when the last contract I was offered wasn’t beneficial to me, I knew it was time to move on and do something else.

BOOGER MCFARLAND, PTI, JANUARY 18, 2023

Halfway across the kingdom there lived a princess named Jacinda Ardern. She was known to her subjects as Madam Prime Minister. Announcing her abdication, Princess Jacinda told her subjects:

I am not leaving because it was hard. Had that been the case I probably would have departed two months into the job. I am leaving because with such a privileged role comes responsibility, the responsibility to know when you are the right person to lead, and also when you are not. I know what this job takes and I know that I no longer have enough in the tank to do it justice. It’s that simple.

JACINDA ARDERN, JANUARY 19, 2023

After Booger achieved his original goal, ensuring his family would never again want for food or shelter, he hung up his helmet and shoulder pads. For Princess Jacinda, ridding her country of assault weapons following a mass shooting of school children was the accomplishment of a lifetime. It was someone else’s turn to wear the crown. Despite Booger’s absence, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers won another Super Bowl. New Zealand remains a desirable place to visit, work and live under the new monarch.

I thought about Booger and the Kiwi while watching news of the January 20 “March for Life” in Washington, D.C. Would the Dobbs decision be the law of the land if Ruth Bader Ginsburg had stepped aside when Barack Obama could have appointed someone with equally strong women’s rights credentials to the high court? Would Donald Trump been able to appoint three justices if his 2016 opponent, despite all her qualifications and experience, had recognized voters suffered from Clinton fatigue? And, in turn, would Trump himself go down in history as a disgraced, twice-impeached seditionist if he had been content living a fairy tale in his palaces in Manhattan, Palm Beach and Bedminster?

A wise mentor told me the day I accepted the position as director of the entrepreneurship center at Miami University, “The first thing you need to do is find your successor.” He knows I do not always take his advice, but on this occasion I did. And when I moved on nine years later, I did so knowing the program was in good, if not better, hands. The transition was seamless. And, to this day, I have no regrets about leaving a job I enjoyed.

I wonder if Brady and Rogers will ever experience that same sense of personal satisfaction. Or, for that matter, will Joe Biden if he chooses to run for a second term? Last night, Biden’s departing chief of staff Ron Klain ticked off the Biden administration’s accomplishments over the past two years. Even those who disagree with the content must marvel at the skill with which his team marshalled the president’s agenda through Congress with little room for error in a 50/50 Senate and an equally divided House of Representatives. No one would think less of Biden if he rested on his laurels and rode into the sunset.

At some point in every life, a person faces a similar decision. It does not matter whether it involves retirement from a prestigious post or knowing when it is no longer safe to drive a car. He or she can emulate McFarland and Ardern. Celebrate past success and move on. Or keep hanging on. Sports is a perfect lens through which to view one’s options. Look no farther than Mickey Mantle, Willie Mays or Mohammad Ali. The only opponent they could not defeat was Father Time.

The moral of this story: Actors who believe they are irreplaceable are those most in need of exiting the stage. Don’t take my word for it. Ask Norma Desmond.

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP