Category Archives: Media

Orange Juice Gulch*

Media

Walter Winchell | American journalist | BritannicaHaving just watched the HBO series based on Philip Roth’s 2004 novel The Plot Against America, I wondered how Walter Winchell might have covered the coronavirus pandemic. Something like this?

Good evening Mr. and Mrs. America, from border to border and coast to coast and all the cruise ships still at sea. Let’s go to press.

Dateline: Washington, D.C.  The White House has become a virtual coronavirus petri dish.  The latest count of those now in isolation include:

  • Donald Trump’s personal valet
  • Katie Miller, wife of White House “ratzi”* Steven Miller and Mike Pence’s press secretary
  • Ivanka Trump’s personal assistant
  • 11 secret service agents

Oh, the humanity!

Yet Donald Trump remains untouched by the contagion.  When asked how he would explain his good fortune, Trump turned to task force chair Dr. Deborah Birx.

“Dr. Birx, I’m not a doctor but I’ve been thinking a lot about this.  Is it possible we should consider a vaccine based on Kentucky Fried Chicken, Diet Coke, taco salad or big beautiful slices of chocolate cake?  It worked for me.  Maybe the doctors could look into that.”

In other news, Kim Jung-Un is still not dead.   DOJ drops charges against Jeffrey Epstein; corpse remains under house arrest pending review by trial judge.  Top “G-Man”* Christopher Wray is in danger of “Garboing It.”*  In the world of entertainment, Katherine Schwarzenegger and Chris Pratt announce they are “getting storked”* later this year.  While on a sadder note, former Chicago QB Jay Cutler and reality star Kristin Cavallari are in the process of getting “Reno-vated.”* And finally in the NBA, all games are tied 0-0 and heading into overtime.

And that’s the news.  Good night Mr. and Mrs America.  And a special good night to Donald Trump whom I remind, “Nothing recedes like success.”*

POSTSCRIPT:  In the past 48 hours, health departments in several red states report emergency rooms have been flooded with patients who injected themselves with a “cocktail” consisting of Diet Coke and chocolate cake.  Based on the four puncture wounds on the arms of those being treated, doctors surmise this dangerous combination was administered using a spork.

*Actual quotes and terms coined by Winchell. “Orange Juice Gulch” was how he often referred to New York’s Time Square, at the time populated by a number of take out food vendors including Orange Julius.

FOOTNOTE

While researching this post, I found other Walter Winchell quotes which could apply to America today.

The same thing happened today that happened yesterday, only to different people.

We must not indulge in unfavorable views of mankind, since by doing it we make bad men believe they are no worse than others, and we teach the good that they are good in vain.

The way to become famous fast is to throw a brick at someone who is famous.

An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery.

For what it’s worth.  Stay well.
Dr. ESP

One If By Contact, Two If By Inhalation

Media 
NOTE:  The following is a reprint of a "Letter to the Editor" sent to our local newspaper.  Some of the content is copied from the February 28 post titled, "CULTure in America."

In what can only be called a textbook example of shooting the messenger, News-Leader columnist Howard Pines joined fellow columnist Steve Nicklas in disparaging Dr. Nancy Messonnier, CDC-based director of the National Center for Immunization and Respiratory Diseases.  Dr. Messonnier was removed as CDC’s coronavirus response chief after suggesting at a February 25 White House briefing the disease represented “a severe illness” which had the potential of significantly disrupting Americans’ daily lives.

On February 28, Nicklas wrote in the News-Leader:

Most health officials will not exaggerate the potential impacts of a malady, but in contrast, Dr. Nancy Messonnier’s performance sounded like an exaggeration on steroids.  She is head of the National Center for Immunization and Respiratory Diseases and is FBI agent Rod Rosenstein’s sister.

FACTUAL NOTE:  Rosenstein was not an FBI agent, but deputy attorney general under Jeff Sessions and Bill Barr.  If you are going to peddle conspiracy theories, the least you can do is keep your supposed “deep state” actors straight.

In his April 29 column, Pines attacks Messonnier claiming Dr. Messonnier “jumped the gun and issued a blunt warning—without the president’s consent.”  Please keep in mind, Dr. Messonnier, by virtue of her position either helped prepare the President’s Daily Briefs (PDB) or, at a minimum, had access to the information contained in them.  And as we now know, the PDBs, beginning in January warned Donald Trump the virus would likely spread to the United States and represented a national security threat.  Yet, on the day before Dr. Messonnier’s statement, Trump tweeted, “The Coronavirus is very much under control in the USA.”  Two days later, Trump patted himself on the back, saying, “When you have 15 people, and the 15 within a couple of days is going to be down to close to zero, that’s a pretty job we’ve done.”

So, you have two people with access to the same information.  One rightfully warns the public of the potential devastation, recommends preparedness and is taken off the field.  The other continued to deny the inevitable, and according to Pines, Trump was so angry Messonnier had...

…scared people unnecessarily.  He then canceled the meeting (of the coronavirus task force) and replaced it with a news conference where he announced that the White House response would be put under the command of Vice President Mike Pence (instead of HHS Secretary Alex Azar who had also tried to get Trump to focus on the pandemic in early January) and stalled any move to take more assertive action.”

It is a good thing Pines and Nicklas were not around in 1776.  Pines would have accused Paul Revere of “jumping the gun,” warning Boston residents of the British invasion before receiving permission to do so.  And Nicklas might had questioned Revere’s loyalty to the colonies because he once served as an altar boy in the Church of England.  And we might be singing “God Save the Queen” instead of “The Star Spangled Banner.”

For what it's worth.
Dr. ESP

1600 Sunset Boulevard

Media, Politics

 

Even a social scientist who constantly warns others about the difference between correlation and causation can jump the shark when the evidence seems overwhelming.  For me, that line blurred when comparing the inverse relationship between Donald Trump’s approval ratings to the length of his daily 5:00 p.m. “press beefings.” In what can only be labeled the ultimate April Fool’s joke, Trump’s margin of disapproval on April 1 dropped to a low of 3.9 percent (49.7 disapproval versus 45.8 disapproval), attributed in large part to his “somber tone” on March 28. (Source: FiveThirtyEight)

Forget the 70 days of denial, misinformation and inaction.  Trump, for whatever reason, recognized he needed to step up to the plate (or in his case, the microphone).  And step up he did.  What began as a one-hour press conference expanded to 90 minutes, then two hours, until Monday when the event clocked in at a record two hours and 24 minutes.  The next day FiveThirtyEight reported his net disapproval rating was back to 7.1 percent.  (UPDATE:  Still climbing, 7.3  percent as of this morning)  There were other contributing factors.  During the same time frame, the COVID-19 death toll among Americans surpassed that of any other nation.  And the New York Times and Washington Post documented the extent to which Trump’s “no one saw this coming” was a “Grim Fairy Tale.”

But as more pundits than you can shake a swab at keep asking, “Why does Trump keep disgracing himself personally and politically with these inane reality shows?”  If you can get past the fact the messages are confusing at best and dangerous to the public safety at worst (which we should not), you realize you are watching the unraveling of a pathetic human being.  If you possessed just one ounce more empathy than Trump has shown the doctors, nurses, first responders, essential workers and victims of this pandemic, you might even feel sorry for him.

Norma Desmond | Villains Wiki | FandomThe pundits suggest this is unprecedented.  They are wrong.  We see it time and time again.  Athletes who try to stay in the game long after their skills have diminished.  The musician whose voice is shot or whose instrumental dexterity is long gone.  The corporate executive, who comes out of retirement, does not realize the nature of commerce has changed dramatically since his last gig.  Though perhaps the best metaphor is Billy Wilder’s 1950 Sunset Boulevard, the story of Norma Desmond, an aging silent movie star, who is convinced she has many more superb performances to share with her fans.

All these individuals, real and fictional, have two things in common.  They crave the limelight and dread the possibility they are no longer relevant.  And in that pursuit there is always one more comeback.  Next season.  The remix of a top-forty favorite.  One more failing company in need of a white knight.  Even when reality sets in, when the audience no longer shows up, they believe there is a second act just around the next corner.

Bill Maher, among others, has wondered whether someone will have to forcibly remove Trump from the Oval Office if he loses in November.  I do not share their concern.  It is far more likely he will, like Norma Desmond, make the January 20, 2021 finale of “Mr Trump Goes to Washington,” a prelude to his next fantasy (with apologies to Wilder and the other Sunset Boulevard screenwriters).  As he stands on the south portico for the last time, Trump looks toward the television cameras and delivers his farewell missive.

And I promise you I’ll never desert you again because after the White House, I’ll turn OANN into the next Fox News and build Trump Tower Moscow. You see, this is my life! It always will be! Nothing else! Just me, and the cameras, and those wonderful people out there in the dark!… All right, Mr. Murdoch, I’m ready for my close-up.

[Fade to black.]

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP

Breaking the Glass Floor

Media, Politics

 

I can only imagine what  aliens, having landed on earth on February 1, would think of America and how it picks its leaders.  First, they learned  candidates have spent a year crisscrossing two political units which account for one percent of the total delegates who will make the eventual choice at a gathering later in the year.  And they will do that in two other states the rest of the month.  Then they will have THREE days to make a case to 14 additional political units that control 40 percent of the delegates.

Then tonight they watched what could only be called a cat fight over which candidate is the least flawed.  No wonder many of the best potential candidates choose not to participate in this dumpster fire.

Based on their observations, the aliens return to their home planet and report, paraphrasing Winston Churchill, their system of picking their leader by pulling a name out of a hat is a bad way to do it, but it’s better than all the rest.  Though they heard some candidates talk about breaking a glass ceiling, the consensus opinion is the winner will be the one who survives falling through the glass floor.

It’s not like the Democratic party hasn’t tried to make it better.  The first such effort was a commission chaired by Michigan Congressman James O’Hara following the 1968 disaster at the Chicago convention.  The result.  George McGovern and the worst electoral college beating in political history.  And after each successive presidential loss the party has tweaked the system with minimal effect.

Image result for putney swopeAgain, I turn to Putney Swope who, when asked if he, as the new CEO of the advertising company at which he was hired as the token minority, would rock the boat, replied, “I’m not going to rock the boat.  I’m going to sink the whole f***ing ship.”  The time for tweaking has passed.  It’s time to start with a blank slate and put on our MARA caps (Make America Rational Again).

In this post, I will focus on two major elements of the electoral process: the primaries and candidate debates.

PRIMARIES:  First and foremost, the party should ban caucuses.  They violate every democratic principle supportive of an engaged electorate.  Second, the nation should be divided into four contiguous regions with each region consisting of states with approximately one-fourth of the total delegates.  Third, regional primaries should be held no less than 30 days apart.  Fourth, the order of the regional primaries should rotate over a sixteen year period, giving each region a chance to be “first in the nation.”

DEBATES:  While televised debates would still be distributed among the major media outlets, the networks would not choose the format, the moderators or the questions.  The first two decisions would be made by the eligible participants in each event.  The topics would be determined by an independent polling service by asking voting age residents in each region, “What are the three most important issues in the upcoming election?”  The top five answers would be selected as topics for the first debate in that region.  Each participant would be given a chance to present their plan to address each issue.  If there were multiple debates in a region, the second or third event could focus on topics further down the list.  The moderator’s sole purpose would be to ensure rules related to length of answers and questioning between candidates are enforced.

You might ask, when do candidates get a chance to air their concerns about an opponents past performance or statements.  If you look at the transcript of tonight’s debate,  questions about every candidate’s shortcomings were recitations already raised by the media.  Look at the front page of any newspaper or watch cable news.  The headlines were about medical record transparency, buying the election, questionable past statements and actions.

Let the media use their time and resources to fuel a cat fight.  The party should ensure the debates give candidates a chance to tell us how they will govern, if elected.  Bernie and Elizabeth know they have to explain why Medicare for All is not a financial disaster.  Mike knows he has to tell black voters how he will atone for negative impacts associated with stop and frisk.  The party should give them and all the other candidates that chance to make their case about the future and why it makes sense in light of any perceived inconsistencies.

If candidates want to go negative, parroting what is already being reported in newspapers and on talk shows, they have the right to do so.  But make them do it on their dime, not free media access when voters should hear about how they plan to govern, not why they are less flawed than their opponents.

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP

 

The TwiWhite Zone

Media

 

The following is a parody of a 1959 episode (Season 03/Episode 24) of The Twilight Zone titled, “To Serve Man.”*

ROD SERLING

You’re traveling through another dimension–a dimension not only where many chose not to see or hear, a dimension of the mindless, a journey into a dysfunctional land whose boundaries are shattered by the warped imagination of Donald Trump.  Your next stop, the TwiWhite Zone.

[Theme Music]

MR. CHAMBERS:

We were preoccupied with the hands on a clock when we should have been checking off a calendar.  It was June 2015, and it was noon then, too.  And people walked and drove and bought and sold and fretted and laughed.  The world went on much as it had been going on with a tentative tiptoeing along a precipice of crisis  There was North Korea, Iran and Syria and the other myriad problems, major and minor that somehow had lost their incisive edge of horror because we were so familiar with them.

And then that is when it happened.  That’s when we first heard he had come.  That’s when we should have prepared ourselves for any eventuality, but we didn’t.  Instead, we milled around like frightened farm animals looking for father images.  At noon, today, eastern daylight time, the landing took place in the lobby of Trump Tower.

[THE ALIEN TAKES THE STAGE]

THE ALIEN (Donald Trump):

(SPEAKING IN THE THIRD PERSON) What is the motive of this man, offering such great gifts to the people of the United States?  I hope the American people will understand and believe when I tell you that my mission is simply this:  To bring to you the piece (sic) and plenty which I enjoy.  When you have no more hunger, no more war, no more needless suffering, that will be my reward.

MR. CHAMBERS:

And Santa Claus came through.  The deserts became golf courses and the wall ended immigration.

And one year later, women stand in line waiting for the tram that will take them to the spa at one of the Mar-a-Lago or Doral franchises which now dot the landscape.  They react as if this were a weekend picnic in the country.  Nothing fazes them.

[LOOKS DOWN AT A CODED BOOK]

Image result for encoded book

I’m still working on that book.  Deciphering the title has been of no help because the capital letters are different from the other signs, just as ours are.  But it’s starting to fall into place.

[ONE YEAR LATER]

I gave up trying a month ago.  My wife has been begging me to give her a Trump spa vacation for her birthday.  I’m not sure I can resist much longer.

[TRAM STATION.  CHAMBERS WATCHES AS HIS WIFE BOARDS]

A COLLEAGUE:

Mr. Chambers!  Mr. Chambers!  Don’t let her get on that tram!  The rest of the book, “Women for Trump,” it’s not about campaign strategy, it’s one of Jeffrey Epstein’s day planners.

[FADE OUT]

SERLING:

How about you?  Is your wife or girlfriend at home or has she boarded the tram to oblivion?  It doesn’t make much difference because sooner or later, they’ll all be in the book–all of them, a footnote in a day planner.  It’s tonight’s book club selection in The TwiWhite Zone.

*Original screenplay by Rod Serling, based on a story by Damon Knight.

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP