The guests at the last dinner gathering my wife and I attended before the “Great Isolation” included two of the three friends who share responsibility for the monthly “Cinema and Conversations” events we host at our local bookstore.  Naturally, our conversation turned to the topic of film, especially since the Academy Awards show had aired the previous Sunday.  When asked how I felt about Parasite taking home so many Oscars, I responded I thought it was deserving with the caveat I did not think much of the competition.

For most cinephiles, the gold standard remains 1939.  Imagine having to chose between Gone With the Wind, The Wizard of Oz, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, Goodbye Mr. Chips, Of Mice and Men and Stagecoach for Best Picture.  (HISTORICAL NOTE: The category was then called “Outstanding Production” which is why the Oscar for Best Picture is still handed to the producers who manage the business of film making rather than the creative talent.)  Each of the 2019 nominees had their moments, e.g. a shirtless Brad Pitt in Once Upon a Time…in Hollywood according to one female friend.  But I doubt, 50 years from now, many will break into the American Film Institute’s “100 Best Films of All Time.”

For movie lovers, being confined to one’s home is reminiscent of an episode of The Twilight Zone titled “Time Enough at Last.”  Burgess Meredith plays a bank clerk who loves to read.  When he becomes the sole survivor of a nuclear war, by virtue of being in the underground bank vault when the attack occurs, he sees it as the opportunity of a lifetime to spend every waking hour immersed in books.  I will not spoil the ending for those who may be binge watching a Rod Serling marathon on Hulu.

Which brings me to last night.  Imagine, all the time in the world to catch up on the films you had been too busy to take in during normal times.  I started with the HBO premiere movie Good Boys, a raunchy coming-of-age story which had received positive reviews (80/100 on Rotten Tomatoes).  Five minutes into the narrative, I was reaching for the remote control.  My next choice was a 2019 independent production The Party, not to be confused with the 1968 film of the same name starring Peter Sellers and Claudine Longet.  This selection was based largely on the fact the cast included Patricia Clarkson who is chiseled on my Mount Rushmore of female actors and it received an 81 rating on Rotten Tomatoes.  However, my attention lasted less than 15 minutes before the parade of dysfunctional house guests engaged in drugs and pending violence were dismissed.  A British anthology found the same fate.  I feared I was becoming a panelist on The Gong Show and finished the evening with a crossword puzzle and an episode of “The Whistler” on Sirius XM’s Radio Classics channel.

Having access to and the time to sample so many films that never made it to theaters is painful, yet enlightening.  Above all, I have a new-found appreciation for the scions of the movie industry who occasionally deliver a magical moment through visual story telling.  It is not unlike the fairy tale where the princess kisses many frogs before she finds her true love.  In the business world, it is akin to the venture capitalist who invests in ten business not knowing which one will become the next Skype or Apple.

Does anyone honestly think in 1987 the head of Columbia Pictures said, “I have an idea for a terrible movie.  Let’s hire Elaine May to direct.  And we’ll get Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty to star in it.”?  Ishtar seemed like a good idea on paper.  Sadly, that is where it should have stayed.  Yet, without taking the risk associated with a hundred Ishtars and Giglis, there would be no Casablanca or Midnight Cowboy.

So, the next time you ask yourself, “Who could have possibly thought this dreck was entertaining or worth watching?”, just remember you may only have to do this for the next 30 or 60 days.  Some poor soul does it for a living.

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP