Imagined transcript for “Weekend Update”: September 17, 2016.  All of the material in italics in this post are documented quotes about President Barack Obama’s country of birth.

ANCHOR:  Like all of you, we miss Gilda Radner.  In hopes of recapturing just a smidgen of her comic magic, Saturday Night Live has invited Republican President candidate Donald J. Trump to sit in as a guest commentator.

TRUMP:  Thanks.  We have a problem. Our current president came out of nowhere.  Came out of nowhere.In fact, I’ll go a step further, the people that went to school with him, they never saw him, they don’t know who he is.” (Source: Politicifact, February 2011)

TRUMP: If Obama was born in the United State, why doesn’t he show his birth certificate? And you know what? I wish he would… Nobody from those early years remembers him… There’s something on that birth certificate he doesn’t like. (Source, The View, March 2011) Right now, I have some real doubts…His grandmother in Kenya said he was born in Kenya and she was there and witnessed the birth. He doesn’t have a birth certificate or he hasn’t shown it. (Source: NBC Today, April 7, 2011)

TRUMP:  I know he has showed us a copy of his birth certificate, but  a lot of people don’t agree with that birth certificate. A lot of people do not think it’s authentic. (Source: CNN Situation Room, May 29, 2012)

TRUMP: Instead of questioning whether the President is legitimate, the media keeps questioning me.  Just last week the media again asked me whether I was convinced Obama was not born in Kenya. I have no idea. I don’t know. Was there a birth certificate? You tell me. … Nobody knows. (Source: ABC This Week, August 2013)

TRUMP:  And I’m not alone.  Just the other day, a supporter at my rally in New Hampshire said, ”We have a problem in this country. It’s called Muslims. We know our current president is one. You know he’s not even an American.”  We needed this question. (Source: C-SPAN, Rochester, New Hampshire Town Hall, September 17, 2015.)

TRUMP: You tell me.  How did we end up with a President for eight years who was born in Kenya.

ANCHOR: (leans over)  Mr. Trump, his grandmother said he was born in Kona, not Kenya.

TRUMP.  Kona?  (long pause)  NEVER MIND.

Magic? Maybe.  Comic magic?  Definitely not.  Maybe this is what Donald Trump would call “black magic” (pun intended). Instead of making objects disappear like most magicians, Trump makes non-objects materialize at will.

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP