[BLOGGER’S NOTE:  On the Deprogramming101 home page, I warn readers not to take everything I write as gospel.  Today’s post is one for which I urge everyone to take that advice.]

In the runup to the Iowa caucuses and the New Hampshire primary, the contenders for the Republican nomination for president have uttered words one would never expect from an individual seeking the highest office in the land.  However, Wednesday night, the unexpected took a hard turn to the left when former South Carolina governor Nikki Haley declared the South fought the Civil War to protect a woman’s choice when it comes to her reproductive health and LGBTQ+ rights..

I know, she did not use those exact words, but what else could she possibly mean when her response to the question, “What caused the American Civil War,” was the following.

I think it always comes down to the role of government and what the rights of the people are. And we will always stand by the fact that I think the government was intended to secure the rights and freedoms of the people,  It was never meant to be all things to all people. Government doesn’t need to tell you how to live your life. They don’t need to tell you what you can and can’t do. They don’t need to be a part of your life. They need to make sure that you have freedom.

To emphatically declare “government doesn’t need to tell you how to live your life” must have been music to the ears of Americans who are part of the LGBTQ+ community.  If only there were paintings of the South Carolina confederate brigade being led into battle behind a flagbearer holding a rainbow version of the “Stars and Bars” to validate Ms. Haley’s assertion.  Imagine she had used her tenure as governor to educate Palmetto State citizens how their ancestors took up arms to ensure every South Carolinian could enjoy the same rights and privileges regardless of their sexual orientation.  One can even envision the Daughters of the Confederacy and SC United for Justice & Equality, a Charleston-based coalition of LGBTQ+ advocates, coming together to oppose removal of statues of Civil War generals and soldiers who gave their lives for gender equality.

Furthermore, has there ever been a more forceful argument for a woman’s right to choose, than Haley’s declaration, “They [government] don’t need to tell you what you can and can’t do.”  But she did not stop there, doubling down by adding, “They don’t need to be part of your life.”  One has to assume that includes judges, politicians and (in Texas) anti-abortion bounty hunters having a seat at the table during a patient’s consultation with her physician.  Women, and the men who love them, living in states where legislatures dominated by old, white males enacted laws limiting reproductive choice, greeted Haley’s change of heart with a rousing chorus of “hosannas.”

Rumor has it (not really) Christian F. Nunes, president of the National Organization of Women, was preparing a statement welcoming Haley into the “sisterhood.”  However, before she could deliver her remarks, Haley realized she now faced a “Hobson’s Choice,” defined by Merriam-Webster as “the necessity of accepting one of two or more equally objectional alternatives.”  Based on an overnight analysis of GOP polling data that would make a sabermetrician blush, Haley picked her poison.  Turns out, MAGA World is more offended by her echoing the words of pro-choice and LGBTQ+ advocates than they are by acknowledging slavery’s role in the Civil War.  Less than 12 hours following her New Hampshire trial by fire, Haley had a second change of heart.  During a Thursday morning radio interview, the penitent candidate declared, “Of course the Civil War was about slavery.”  Welcome back to Earth One.

Her flip-flopping did not go unappreciated.  I hear (again, not really) the owner of Waffle House #233 at 2229 Savannah Highway in Charleston, South Carolina has roped off a counter-side table perpetually reserved for the former governor.  And if this presidential thing does not pan out for her, he hopes she will become the establishment’s official spokesperson.

[NOTE: For an excellent, non-fictional assessment of Nikki Haley’s 24 hours in what some are calling her introduction to the “GOP Thunderdome,” check out Politico senior columnist Matt Lewis’ op-ed, “Nikki Haley’s Slavery Gaffe Shows How Scared She Is of MAGA Republicans.“]

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP