The title of today’s post is a play on “Carmina Burana,” a collection of Latin poems and prose from the 11th and 12th centuries believed to have been written by traveling theologians and scholars.  Many are described as irreverent satires targeted at the Catholic Church.  I thought I would add three more to the collection based on events from the past week with a focus on American fundamentalists.

The first comes straight from the an article in Friday’s Washington Post, “Lawyers for Noah’s Ark theme park are suing its insurance company for rain damage.”  Although the deluge did not last for 40 days and nights, the nearby city of Williamstown, Kentucky recorded over 40 inches of rain during the preceding 12 months.  While the $120 million tourist attraction was unharmed, the road leading to it was washed out.

One cannot help but believe the Post writers Eli Rosenberg and Karen Heller viewed this assignment as an opportunity to have some creative fun.  In their background coverage of the origins of the project, Rosenberg and Heller report, “The theme park was met with no small amount of controversy when it opened, focused mainly on its sources of funding, including the $62 million in junk bonds that were floated by the town of Williamstown.”

So far, founder Ken Ham (not to be confused with his brothers Shem and Japheth) and his company Answers in Genesis have recovered only a small portion of the $1.0 million spent on a retaining wall to protect the entrance road from future damage.  Maybe he needs better lawyers.  I wonder if he ever considereed Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, LLP.

As a preface to the second story, let me say I find no joy in the pain and suffering of innocent people who just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.  But I do wonder if televangelists like Pat Robertson appreciate the irony when tragedy coincidentally strikes those to whom he caters.  Remember, Robertson blamed liberals for the September 11 attacks, claimed devil worshipers caused the 2010 Haiti earthquake, told viewers in 2012 tornadoes in a Pennsylvania town were the result of “divine wrath” for teaching evolution in public schools and most famously linked Hurricane Katrina and terrorist attacks to legalized abortion.

However, I doubt Robertson believes what is good for the goose is good for the gander.  As yet, he has not professed any connection between the death and destruction four days ago due to several tornadoes in Jefferson City to the recent enactment of draconian anti-abortion legislation by the Missouri legislature which just happens to convene in (drum roll) Jefferson City, Missouri.  Now that’s what I call divine targeting.

Which leads me to my third addition to Carmina Burana titled, “Does God Hate Red States?”  Since the beginning of 2019, the federal government has announced 27 emergency declarations based on “acts of God,” including floods, tornadoes and fires.  Of this total, incidents occurred in 14 states which voted Republican in the 2016 presidential election.  In contrast, only four states which supported the Democratic candidate have been subject to these types of natural disasters.  Do fundamentalists not see the theological contradiction?  Franklin Graham, president of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, explains Donald Trump’s victory as follows:

For these states to go the way they did, in my opinion, I think it was the hand of God. It wasn’t hacking. It wasn’t Wiki-leaky or whatever. It was God, in my opinion, and I believe His hand was at work, and I think He’s given Christians an opportunity.

If that is the case, why would God punish the very people who carried out his political directive?  I gave God an opportunity to respond to this post.  He did not return my call.  Maybe trying to understand the preachings of some American fundamentalists is above his pay grade.

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP