There is nothing more mis-labeled than reality shows.  Just ask comedian Dana Gould who describes them as follows.

You will never experience less reality than when you are watching a reality show. You’re watching people who aren’t actors, put into situations created by people who aren’t writers and they’re second guessing how they think you would like to see them behave if this were a real situation, which it’s not. And you are passively observing this; watching an amateur production of nothing. It’s like a photo of a drawing of a hologram.

Welcome to Washington, D.C., where America is subjected on a daily basis to Gould-style reality programming which eclipses anything Mark Burnett, producer of Survivor, The Voice and of course The Apprentice, ever pitched to television executives.

Since the Democrats took control of the House of Representatives last January, the airwaves have been saturated with hype for the Congress’ latest contribution to the reality show genre The Impeachment.  (NOTE:  If it airs on NBC, the name may be changed to Law and Order: Special Counsel’s Unit.)  To understand why this spectacle will be up for an Emmy in the reality show category, versus drama, limited series or even comedy, we need to parse Gould’s take on this unique brand of entertainment.

• The House of Representatives will become a grand jury without actually being a grand jury.
• Members of the House Judiciary Committee will act as prosecutors when they are not.
• Throughout the proceedings, Democrats and Republicans will both behave the way they think their constituents want them to behave.
• And finally, the ultimate goal is to maintain ratings to ensure the program is renewed.  Except in the political arena, it is known as re-election.

How do I know this?  Let me share a personal experience.  In 2003, I was asked to join a television production team to create a reality show called Risk It All, designed to introduce viewers to the rewards and challenges of entrepreneurship.  Each season,  six contestants would have to give up their “day jobs” to start a new business venture.  We eventually got to pitch the show to an ABC programming executive.  Her first concern?  How could we guarantee there would be constant conflict and enough salacious (her word) moments?  In other words,  damn the facts, just make sure it has soft-core SEX and staged VIOLENCE.  If you want to educate people, pitch it to The Learning Channel or PBS.  Although Risk It All never made it to a living room near you, I do take some perverse joy knowing we were on the right track, especially when Shark Tank premiered six years later on (drum roll) ABC.

That is why I have no doubt The Impeachment will eventually be picked up by multiple news channels and broadcast networks.  There will be no lack of conflict.  In the promo for episode one, the announcer will hype a potential “must see” moment when Judiciary Chairman Gerald Nadler (D-NY) and former Ohio State assistant wrestling coach Jim Jordan (R-OH) take off the gloves and hit the mats.  And talk about salacious.  Not only do we have porn stars and Playboy playmates, we have FBI agents engaged in illicit love affairs.

Check your local listings for days and times.

POSTSCRIPT/Sorry Nancy

As much as Nancy Pelosi might prefer “prison” over “impeachment,” Donald Trump is never going to jail.  You cannot honestly believe the team that brought us Matt Whitaker and William Barr has not figured out how to stack the deck to avoid Trump’s incarceration.  There are four scenarios in which prison could be in his future.  Here’s why none will ever come true.

• The impeachment hearings force Trump to resign a la Richard Nixon.  Mike Pence pulls a  Gerald Ford and issues a blanket pardon covering known and and yet unknown federal crimes.
• Trump is impeached and convicted.  Same ending.  Pence pardons him to put an end to “our long national nightmare.” [Maybe Pence is impeached for plagiarism.]
• Trump wins in 2020 and is saved when the five year statute of limitations for obstruction of justice expires.
• Trump loses in 2020, which triggers the fail-safe option.  Since the courts would reject any self-pardon before leaving office, Trump resigns on January 18, 2021.  Pence become Prez-for-a-Day at noon on January 19, issues the pardon, then transfers power to the new president 24 hours later.

Justice may not be served, but I can live with any of these outcomes.  Why?  Because Trump becomes the two thing he fears most.  Unloved and broke.  From reporting in the New York Times and Wall Street Journal,  the Trump brand is taking a beating.  The one exception is the Trump DC hotel where those who curry favor with this administration bow down at the altar of the Trump Organization.  But those same lobbyists and foreign governments will not want to cross a Democratic president by patronizing Trump properties.  And no more hosting dignitaries at Mar-a-Lago on the taxpayers’ dime.  The decade during which Trump lost a trillion dollars will make the MAGA king believe those were the “good old days” to which he so much wanted to return.  What’s more, no future generation will ever have to attend Donald J. Trump High School.

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP