But if we get rid of the confederate flags (pause) how am I going to know who the dangerous white people are? I’m just saying, the flag had a couple of up sides.  I grew up in the south.  I can’t tell you how many times the flag came in handy.  You stop for gas at a strange place at two in the morning.  You see that flag hanging in the window.  You know this is NOT the place to get gas.

~Comedian Roy Wood, Jr./Father Figure (2017)

I live in Florida, one of three states along with Texas and Missouri, which account for 40 percent of the total number of new U.S. COVID cases in the last seven days.  A state where the number of new cases has increased by 232 percent over the last two weeks.  And COVID related deaths have risen by 30 percent.

More specifically, my wife and I reside in Nassau County, Florida.  The weekly “Situation Report” provided by the Florida Department of Health (FDOH) reported, for the week of July 9-15, there were 445 new cases.  The new case positivity rate was 24.5 percent and the new cases per 100,000 residents was 499.2.  Both these latter statistics are twice those for the entire state for the same timeframe, positivity rate of 11.5 percent and 207.5 cases per 100,000 population.  In other words, Nassau County is among the worse counties in one of the three worse states in the country when it comes to the fourth wave of the on-going pandemic.

How did Nassau County achieve this “honor?”  The first clue is in that same weekly “Situation Report.”  For the week of July 9-15, the number of new vaccinated county residents totaled 370.  That’s right.  There were 75 more new reported cases than vaccinations.  Therefore, it should be no surprise only 37.1 percent of county residents 18 years old and up are fully vaccinated compared to 60 percent for the country as a whole. [NOTE:  The state used to provide a daily update until Governor Ron DeSantis declared “mission accomplished” and issued several executive orders prohibiting local governments and private businesses from requiring masks or proof of vaccination.]

The above statistics and two experiences Friday morning made me  think about Roy Wood, Jr.  What is the equivalent of the confederate flag during this variant induced surge in new COVID cases?  Do we need something similar that tells us whether an establishment is the place to do business or whether we should move on?  My first stop this morning was at IdentoGo, a federal contractor that facilitates background checks for security clearances including TSA PreCheck.  The email which confirmed the date and time of my appointment included the following, “ALL CUSTOMERS MUST WEAR A FACE COVERING TO ENTER OUR CENTERS. (their emphasis)”  Upon arrival, it was clear the rule was being strictly enforced.  No confederate flags in sight.  I felt safe.

On the way home, I stopped at the local Walmart to pick up a few items.  I put on a mask and approached the store.  In the front window was the following sign.  “Fully vaccinated customers are welcome to shop without a mask.  We will continue to request that non-vaccinated customers wear face coverings in our stores.”  I imagined how Roy Wood might interpret this directive.

It was different from the high point of infections in late January when the newly inaugurated president called for a national mask mandate.  Wood might have welcomed Biden’s directive, suggesting:

But if we get rid of the mask mandate (pause) how am I going to know who the COVIDiots are?

But the current situation is akin to the “what color is the dress” challenge that took over the internet in the winter of 2015.  The message I saw in Walmart’s window was still a “red flag.”  Why?  Because it was not totally accurate.  At the peak of the pandemic, Walmart was one of the safest places to shop due to the stringent enforcement of the mask mandate.  At a risk to their own safety, employees refused to allow the unmasked to enter the store.  To say “we will CONTINUE to REQUEST” (my emphasis) misrepresents their former policy.  They continued nothing.  Instead, they changed their policy from REQUIRE to REQUEST.

A majority of the shoppers, however, saw it as a “green flag” that could be ignored.  How do I know?  Just do the math.  The store was moderately busy, and only a handful of shoppers wore masks.  But for argument’s sake, say it was 10 percent.  Based on the FDOH Situation Report, 63 percent of the customers in Nassau County were likely not to be fully vaccinated.  It was probably higher since that does not account for fully vaccinated individuals, like myself, who out of caution chose to wear face covering.

What’s more, Florida is analogous to an Aesop fable with the title, “The Boy Who Thinks Everyone Else Cried Wolf.”  The protagonist in the story is, of course, Governor DeSantis.  He has ignored concerns voiced by his own health officials and by local officials in the most impacted jurisdictions.  He is spending taxpayers money to sue a cruise line that challenged his executive order prohibiting the company the right to require proof of vaccination to protect both its employees and passengers.

Last weekend, DeSantis chose to participate in an anti-immigration photo op with Texas Governor Greg Abbott at the southern border.  Does he really believe that is the priority when 148 of his constituents died of a virus-related illness in one day (July 23)?  Which, by the way, accounted for 30.2 percent of the total U.S. COVID-related deaths (486) that same day.  When the governor brags Florida has handled the coronavirus better than any other state, he is not lying if you look at the situation from the virus’ perspective.  It is amazing what transpires when you confront a crisis wearing kid gloves.

Furthermore, in the latest “karma is a  bitch” moment, Florida Attorney General Ashley Moody tweeted she had tested positive for coronavirus four days after accompanying DeSantis to the Texas border. DeSantis’ office refused to respond to a Miami Herald inquiry “whether the governor would get tested for COVID-19 or take any precautions after coming in close contact with Moody over the weekend.”

At times like these, I imagine how current events would have been covered by individuals who are no longer at the forefront of the news and entertainment industry.  One wonders if 2016 would have turned out differently if Tim Russert had a chance to interview Donald Trump on “Meet the Press.”  Or how David Letterman might have dealt with the misery in New York City during the early days of the pandemic when it was again “ground zero” during another national crisis.

Today, my thoughts turn to Mort Drucker (1929-2020) who, for more than 50 years, drew many of the classic cartoon parodies in Mad Magazine, including the iconic portrait of mop-haired, gap-toothed Alfred E. Newman.  Would the cover of this month’s edition feature a drawing of an ostrich with Ron DeSantis’ head, in front of a hospital or cemetery?  Would he be walking up to a podium bearing the great seal of the state of Florida except on this rendition, instead of “In God We Trust,” the state motto would read, “What, Me Worry!”?

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP