Monthly Archives: May 2020

And the Oscar Goes to…

 

Kudos to the majority of Americans who, rather than complain about the many inconveniences and struggles associated with a global health crisis, choose instead to adapt and search for innovative ways to cope with their situation.  In many cases, this involves shelving long-standing practices or traditions.  For example, just yesterday the House of Representatives modified its rules to allow for remote voting.  And states such as Maryland now allow bars to offer take-out drinks.

When spectator sports return, stadiums and arenas will most likely be spectator-less.  But as they say, “Necessity is the mother of invention.”  Last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live at Home, Golden State Warriors star Stephen Curry wondered whether NBA broadcasts would be more interesting if more players wore microphones so viewers could hear the trash talk on the court.  The NFL is considering piping crowd noise into the stadiums.  And one network has suggested they may fill the empty seats with animated fans to simulate crowd reactions.  Personally, I cannot wait to see the caricatures of the Washington Redskins “Hogs” or the Cleveland Browns “Dawg Pound.”

Award transparent oscar, Picture #951644 award transparent oscarAmong the first to confirm such a change was the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (AMPAS), the organization responsible for the annual Oscar presentations.  With many movie studios allowing scheduled theatrical releases to be offered directly via “on-demand” television, the Academy announced a rule change by which these films which may never play in theaters could be considered in this year’s competition.  My question is why should they stop there.  Some of the best performances in 2020 were not produced by major studies or independent filmmakers.

Therefore, I am recommending two new categories.  The first would be a major departure for the Academy.  Instead of limiting awards only to those who make movies, I suggest there be one for those who show them.  I call it, “Best Performance by a Projectionist.”  And even though the year is not yet half over, there are several performances worthy of consideration.  If held today, the nominees would be:

  • Donald J. Trump for “Running on Empty” in which he accuses the Obama administration of depleting government stockpiles of personal protective equipment.
  • Donald J. Trump for “A Nightmare on Pennsylvania Avenue” in which he accuses everybody else of everything he has failed at over the past three and a half years.
  • Donald J. Trump for his starring role in a remake of Tyler Perry’s “The Family That Preys” in which he accuses Barack and Michele Obama of profiting on their public service by writing best selling memoirs.
  • Donald J. Trump for his performance in the remake of “Pinocchio” in which he accuses Joe Biden of being a Chinese and Ukrainian puppet.
  • And finally, Donald J. Trump in “Broadcast Fake News.”  NOTE: The Academy screener has been edited for time as the director’s cut covering all 18,000+ lies runs over five days long.

The second new category pays tribute to those individuals who feel they have been snubbed by the Academy.  Based on the current favorites, the nominees for “Best Performance in a ‘Me Too’ Role” include:

  • Tara Reade in a remake of the Laurel and Hardy 1928 silent classic “The Finishing Touch.”  The film highlights her evolution from “what about me” beginning with her accusing Joe Biden of putting his hands on her shoulders and hair.  When that fails to garner the desired attention, she invokes “me too” with a charge of sexual assault.  Reviewers did question the credibility of the film’s plot by pointing out it really makes no sense to use the term “me too” when no one else has accused Biden of a similar violation.  If there had been a “Best Performance in a ‘Just Me’ Role,”  Reade would have been the hands-off favorite.
  • Vice-president Mike Pence for reprising the Jim Carrey role in “Not The Mask.”  No explanation necessary.
  • Jet Linx Vice-chairman and major GOP donor John Denny Carreker for “Up in the Air.”  The company which caters to CEOs and corporate executives received a $27 million bailout under the CARES Act in return for a $50,000 donation to the Republican National Committee.  Rumor has it, if Carreker does not win the Oscar he will receive the Gordon Gecko honorable mention trophy.
  • Georgia Governor Brian Kemp for his performance in both title roles in the remake of “Dumb and Dumber.”  Kemp blindly followed Donald Trump’s urging to re-open the state only to be tossed under the bus when Trump questioned whether such action was too soon pending a vaccine or treatment. (Clearly a case of premature inoculation.)
  • White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany in the remake of the 1973 British comedy “Don’t Just Lie There, Say Something.”  Within minutes of promising the White House press corps, “I will never lie to you” she joins the “me too” parade of Trump staff and surrogates who react to the truth like a vampire reacts to garlic, a cross and sunlight.

And that’s today’s entertainment report.  Tune in next week to learn if any of these contenders has been eliminated by more deserving competitors.

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP

Man Bites Dog

 

The covid-19 pandemic has exposed the depth of America’s fall from greatness.

~Eugene Robinson/Washington Post

Coronavirus: How Italy is refusing to let virus outbreak be the ...As many of you know, last fall I taught at the Catholic University of the Sacred Heart in Milan.  My temporary residence was just blocks from the center city and Duomo.  Most evenings I would go to a restaurant on the Duomo plaza to watch the people and enjoy the cosmopolitan atmosphere.  As Milan became the epicenter of Europe’s pandemic experience, I stayed in touch with many of my colleagues and students, concerned about their well-being and sharing my sadness at pictures of the city which were so different from the Milan I knew.

But now, concern is redirected toward us in the USA.  They call and email me and the most voiced reaction is disbelief that America was so unprepared for and so unable to deal with this health crisis.  My own experience echos that of Robinson’s when he says “the United States is a country to be pitied.”

The lasting impact of this change in international attitude toward the U.S. will morph over time.  While Americans are dying and our economic woes impact world markets, sympathy and concern are the order of the day.  But even when life returns to some semblance of normalcy, there will be a cultural hangover, most evident once comedians and ordinary citizens again feel safe to joke about the pandemic of 2020.  How do I know this?  It is the one cultural constant throughout the history of mankind.  Considering the following.

A half-century after the end of World War II, Rodney Dangerfield still told jokes about Italian military incompetence.  “Why does the new Italian navy have glass-bottom boats?  To see the old Italian navy.”

To go back even farther, thousands of years have not erased the stereotype of homosexuals serving as foot soldiers (called “hoplites”) in ancient Greek armies. Thus the origins of the now politically incorrect WWII joke, “Greek soldiers never leave their buddies behind.”

However, nothing compares to the litany of dark humor associated with France’s response to its invasion by Nazi Germany.

  • What does the new French flag look like?  A white cross emblazoned on a white background.
  • What do you call a French man killed defending his country?  I don’t know either, it has never happened.
  • The Warsaw Ghetto held out longer than France.

Want more?  Just Google “World War II Jokes about (COUNTRY).”  Page after page of hits.  Unless the country name you substitute is the United States.  At the top of that list is an article on FORCES.NET titled, “Our 9 Favourite WWII Jokes of All Time.”  Spelling of the word “favourite” is a dead giveaway the source is of British origin.  The targets of these wisecracks include Germans, the French and even British superior officers.  Gags about Americans?  Zero.  When was the last time you conducted a Google search with NO relevant hits?

Unfortunately, we should not expect the same treatment when it comes to the current global health crisis.  Just imagine some future Italian Dangerfield or Lewis Black including the following quip in a stand-up performance.  “Donald Trump promised the virus would miraculously disappear in April 2020.  The only things that disappeared in April were several government medical experts and 65,000 other Americans.”

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP

 

With Friends Like That

 

Today’s post is about conflicts of interest and how they cannot be avoided when your prime objective is to seek revenge against perceived enemies.

Two days ago, Senate Majority Leader “Moscow Mitch” McConnell went on Team Trump Online, a streaming channel underwritten by Donald Trump’s re-election campaign.  During the interview with Lara Trump (Eric’s wife and a TTO producer), McConnell once again came to Donald Trump’s defense, suggesting that former president Barack Obama lacked class for sharing his opinion the current administration’s response to the global pandemic was “an absolute chaotic disaster” and that Obama should “keep his mouth shut.”

McConnell’s attempt to help Trump distract the nation from the rising coronavirus death count and caseload is easily explained.  With a very unpopular Republican at the top of the November ballot, McConnell is concerned about Democrats gaining control of the Senate.  Therefore, to avoid being demoted to minority leader, or worse yet, being sent home to Kentucky, McConnell has no choice but to parrot Trump’s lies, racism and conspiracy theories.

One would think Trump would return the favor, doing everything he could not to make McConnell’s task of holding on to the Senate more difficult.  Not so fast.  Yesterday, Trump’s Department of Justice via the FBI issued a search warrant for Republican North Carolina Senator Richard Burr’s cell phone.

Richard Burr - WikipediaAs you may remember, Burr made headlines when he and his brother-in-law appeared to make very profitable stock transactions after a confidential briefing by the director of national intelligence related to the potential of the coronavirus pandemic coming to America.  But, you ask, I thought the whole argument being made about politicization of DOJ was Trump and Barr were trying to protect their friends and punish their enemies.  Case in point, Paul Manafort receives early release from a prison with no reported cases of COVID-19 while Michael Cohen’s announced release is delayed from one with multiple reported cases.

Except, Richard Burr is chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee which recently released a report confirming the intelligence community’s assessment Russia did, in fact, interfere in the 2016 election and such interference was designed to help Trump.  The revenge alarm went off, and the FBI search warrant was issued.

Now you might say, but Dr. ESP, the FBI was just doing its job and isn’t that a good thing to investigate this case of alleged insider trading.  Yes, but as Malcolm Nance again reminds us, “Coincidence takes a lot of planning.”  Is it a coincidence the FBI’s first target was Burr and did not include Republican Georgia Senator Kelly Loeffler who is suspected of the same potential violation of securities law?  As Esquire writer Charlie Pierce suggests, “Is it possible that William Barr’s Department of Justice is going after Burr for the capital crime of Not Being Devin Nunes?”

Which brings us to the conflict of interest.  If you’re a Donald Trump cultist, you marvel at his political acumen. This was a brilliant strategic move to target Burr.  It will keep GOP members of Congress in line.  Do not cross me or you will be punished.  However, Trump forgot one thing.  If charged, there is a reasonable probability Burr may have to resign from the Senate.  And the governor of North Carolina Roy Cooper is (drum roll) a DEMOCRAT.  An interim appointment will make McConnell’s Senate majority just that much more fragile come November.

I would not be surprised if McConnell asks fellow Kentucky Senator Rand “Typhoid Mary” Paul to personally hand-deliver a letter to Trump which simply reads, “Thanks, Donald.  With friends like you, who needs enemies.”

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP

 

Exodus 7:14-11:10

 

Every spring, Jews around the world celebrate Pesach (Passover) with a Seder, a home-based ritual during which adults are required to retell the story of the exodus from Egypt.  One element of the Seder is remembrance of the ten plagues enumerated in the Book of Exodus, which culminated in the slaying of  Egyptian first born males including Pharaoh’s eldest son.

According to the website LIVESCIENCE.COM, there is objective evidence for each of the plagues beginning with the rise of red algae, often referred to as “red tide,”  which explains Exodus 7:21 which states, “The fish in the Nile died, and the Nile stank, so that the Egyptians could not drink water.”  Though more commonly occurring in oceans, there are numerous documented instances of red algae reproducing in freshwater.  This strain also produces mycotoxins, which are known to cause disease and death in humans.  LIVESCIENCE.COM suggests the presence of mycotoxins in grain could explain the tenth plague, death of first-born males, as the eldest sons in Egyptian families were most likely to work in the fields, harvesting crops, thus having the most exposure to the contaminated grain.

Passover Haggadah by Nathan GoldbergSo, when Donald Trump says, “No one could anticipated the current pandemic,” not only did he have the benefit of Peter Navarro’s memos, HHS Secretary Alex Azar’s efforts to warn him or daily briefings from the director of national intelligence.  If he had been paying attention to the reading of the Hagaddah at Jared and Ivanka’s Seder, instead of constantly checking the number of pages before he could partake of the festive meal, he would have had 3,200 years’ warning.  (Oh, I forgot, Donald was not at his daughter’s Seder.  Ivanka and Jared went to New Jersey to be with family while the rest of us were sheltered-in-place, holding Zoom virtual Seders.)

Years from now, I wonder if families will gather at this season to tell the story of the deliverance from coronavirus and the 10 plagues needed to soften Trump’s heart to the point where he let the doctors and scientists take command of this modern day exodus from isolation.  In accordance with tradition, participants must spill a drop of Diet Coke as they recite each of the following:

  1. Cancelling of MAGA rallies.
  2. Closing Mar-a-Lago and other Trump properties.
  3. Isolation with Melania and Barron.
  4. Bernie Sanders not becoming the Democratic nominee.
  5. Precipitous drop in approval rating.
  6. Questioning by persistent female journalists at press briefings.
  7. Having to fake empathy for the sick and dying.
  8. Depression-era rates of unemployment.
  9. Infection of White House staff.
  10. Having to wear a mask.

Unlike pharaoh, it looks as though it will take more than 10 plagues before Trump understands what he is up against.  And to honor those who survived the pandemic and emulate their experience, the ritual meal will consist of whatever is left in the refrigerator that might make a good casserole.

For what it’s worth.  Stay safe.
Dr. ESP

 

No News Is No News

 

I stopped watching the Sunday morning “news” programs, because they do everything BUT give the news.  Oh for the days when Meet the Press meant that someone in the news would be questioned by a panel of journalists.  Today, the same show consists largely of op-ed writers at a round table talking at (and often past) each other.  You might know it by the frat-boy moniker, “circle jerk.”

Lynne Russell - Late-1990s - YouTubeMaybe some of you aging, more COVID-19 susceptible folks remember the original CNN Headline News with Lynne Russell.  Every 30 minutes you got a version of the news Sargent Friday (Jack Webb) would be proud of, “Just the facts, ma’am.”  News based on the basic principles of journalism:  who, what, when, where and how.  For a medium which characterizes the current administration as a “reality TV show,” the mirrors in the make-up rooms of every cable news studio must be draped in sack cloth.   Their programs now consist of a series of cliff-hangers, unintended parodies of that old joke, “Global apocalypse; details at eleven.”

For example, yesterday on Morning Joe,  Mika Brzezinski announced this lead-in to a story of particular interest to those of us who believe Florida governor, Ron “deSanitize the data,” is cooking the books when it comes to reporting COVID-19 cases and related deaths.  “Coming up, questions about Florida under-reporting coronavirus cases in the wake of the state’s reopening.”  An HOUR later, they finally interviewed Palm Beach County State Attorney Dave Aronberg who confirmed the “official” state numbers were limited to tests administered by public health agencies when 90 percent of tests were done at private laboratories.

Which brings me to today’s main theme, when news programming is more interested in journalists talking to each other what do they fail to cover.  Take an op-ed in this morning’s New York Times, actually one I find somewhat innovative in which liberal Gail Collins and conservative Brett Stephens present their thoughts as a dialogue.  Today’s conversation was titled, “Donald Trump, Unmasked.”  Stephens has become part of the growing herd of former Republicans who now admit Trump is anything but a conservative and is a threat to national security.  While hoping Joe Biden dethrones the incumbent, Stephens suggested the presumptive Democratic nominees needs to present himself as more than the anti-Trump.

All this means there’s an opportunity for Joe Biden, provided he can articulate not just a biting critique of Trump but a compelling rationale for his candidacy.

If folks like Brett Stephens had paid attention during one of Biden’s recent virtual town halls, they might have heard that rationale.  When asked what he might do differently from Trump to re-open the economy, Biden suggested job-sharing.  Four versus eight hour shifts for company employees.  Half the employees on a factory floor would facilitate physical distancing.  And public assistance such as the Paycheck Protection Program (PPP) would be needed only to subsidize half the salary for each worker.  Media outlets Zoom-Zoomed right by this recommendation faster than a Mazda Miata in favor of commentary about how soon Biden can get out of his basement.

It’s not like the American news media have not been burned enough times already for reporting opinion instead of facts.  Vietnam.  Iraq.  Racial injustice.  Mortgage lending.  Universal health care.  And there are already models out there.  If your cable or streaming television service offers BBC World News,  give it a try.  Thirty minutes several times a day.  An anchor at a desk reporting the news.  BBC correspondents tell us what is happening, not what they think.  The closest they come to opinion is covering what world leaders are saying.  News that actual abides by the Fox tagline, “We report. You decide.”

This weekend, I re-watched the 1976 production of Network, Paddy Chayefsky’s tour-de-force in which Union Broadcasting System (UBS) news anchor Howard Beale (Peter Finch), in a drunken on-air rage, exposes the essence of television news.

Television is not the truth. Television’s a goddamned amusement park! Television is a circus, a carnival, a traveling troupe of acrobats, storytellers, dancers, singers, jugglers, sideshow freaks, lion tamers, and football players. We’re in the boredom-killing business!

The transformation at UBS is complete when the network president assigns management of “the news” to the head of entertainment programming Diana Christensen (Faye Dunaway).

The question of the day?  As boredom increases during this global pandemic, do we become more susceptible to this circus or do we follow Howard Beale and open our windows and tell the world, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore”? Or better yet, emulate Dana Freeling (Dominique Dunne), who, upon seeing her house implode at the end of the movie Poltergeist , screams, “WHAT’S HAPPENING?”  Wouldn’t it be nice if there was someone who would tell us?

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP