On March 19, The Daily Show with Trevor Noah introduced a new segment titled “Ain’t No One Got Time for That,” the premise being how to cover all the idiocy coming out of Washington and the alt-right every day in one 21 minute program.  Noah would barely get into a topic before being interrupted by the new catchphrase and move on to the next subject.

One many days, I’ve felt the same way about this blog.  Yet, I have fought the urge to publish a post consisting of short quips on a range of miscellaneous topics as researching and commenting on a single topic seemed the best way to raise questions about the economic, social and political environment in which we now live.  April 6, 2017, however, was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Yesterday morning my first inclination was to write about the passing of legendary comedian Don Rickles.  Besides being just one of the multitude of fans who appreciated his brash humor, the announcement of his death triggered nostalgic memories.  Our family celebrated my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary at Kutsher’s, the now-defunct “Borscht Belt” resort.  And who was the headliner that weekend?  None other than “Mr. Warmth” himself.  As the audience responded uproariously to insult after insult, our then eight year-old daughter asked, “Why is he making fun of the Jews?”  Yesterday, a single exchange of text messages between father and daughter–“Did you see Don Rickles died?”  “Yes, very sad.”–brought back a flood of cherished memories.

And of course the latest attempt by the White House to deflect attention from the investigation of Comrade Trump’s bromance with Vladimir Putin helped me understand why Rickles represented the anti-Trump.  As the tributes from Rickles’ friends and colleagues poured in, we were reminded that the insults were just a “shtick.”  Everyone he touched knew he was one of America’s most caring and generous individuals .  His best friend Bob Newhart released the the following statement.

He was called ‘The Merchant of Venom,’ but in truth, he was one of the kindest, caring and most sensitive human beings we have ever known. We are devastated and our world will never be the same. We were totally unprepared for this.

Now contrast that with the theatrics by propaganda minister Sean Spicer as he publicly presented Comrade Trump’s donation for the National Park Service to Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke and Tyrone Brandyburg, superintendent at Harper’s Ferry National Historic Park.  What Spicer failed to mention is the Trump budget proposes a $1.5 billion cut in funding for the park service.  Another example of a Trump “deal” where the person sitting at the other side of the table gets the shaft. The expression on Brandyburg’s face says it all.

But “Ain’t No One Got Time for That” because Comrade Trump had moved on.  Act II consisted of his defending Bill O’Reilly against charges of sexual harassment five days after declaring April, “National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month.”  I was reminded of one of my favorite Lewis Black moments.  During the Bush Administration he would look at the audience and say, “Dick Cheney.”  There was silence as everyone anxiously waited for the punchline.  Black would finally declare, “That’s it!  That’s the joke!”

But “Ain’t No One Got Time for That” because Mitch McConnell and his Republican cohorts changed the Senate rules to allow a lifetime appointment made by someone under FBI investigation to be decided, for the first time, by a simple majority.  Many of you are familiar with Martin Niemöller’s warning about Adolph Hitler’s campaign of political and ethnic cleansing.

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

Yesterday’s action by the Republican controlled Senate reverses a 228 year American tradition of rule by the majority with respect for the rights of the minority.  So to paraphrase Niemöller:

First they rescinded the civil rights of Muslims, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Muslims.

Then they rescinded the civil rights of gays, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not gay.

Then they rescinded the civil rights of Blacks and Latinos, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Black or Latino.

Then they rescinded the rights of the political minority—and there was no one left to speak for me.

But “Ain’t No One Got Time for That” because the golf gods were not finished with their week of practical jokes.  Sunday it was Lexi Thompson.  Wednesday it was Dustin Johnson.  Having won the last three tournaments in which he competed, Johnson was the odds on favorite to win this year’s Masters Championship.  Until. still wearing rain-soaked socks, he slipped and fell down the staircase in the Augusta, Georgia residence at which he was staying.  Though he hoped to play through the resulting back pain, he announced he was withdrawing from the contest minutes before his scheduled tee-off time. At least we can’t blame this one on the tournament officials.

But “Ain’t No One Got Time for That” because Comrade Trump, in a rare moment of clarity, realized maybe, just maybe, dictators like Putin and Syria’s Bashar al-Assad (not Barack Obama) are the really bad dudes.  (HISTORICAL FOOTNOTE:  Assad’s birthday is, you guessed it, September 11. An omen of things to come?) Having ignored six years of crimes against humanity by Assad and the Russian government, the scarecrow who currently occupies the White House realized having a heart might not be such a bad thing.

For the last several weeks His Orangeness has based policy decisions on Fox News personalities like the previously mentioned O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, Jeanine Pirro and class clown Steve Doucey.  Yesterday, someone else had his ear.  In a Thursday afternoon interview with the New York Times, Hillary Clinton said the following in reference to Assad’s use of chemical weapons against the Syrian rebels.

I really believe we should have and still should take out his air fields and prevent him from being able to use them to bomb innocent people and drop sarin gas on them.

Perhaps it was coincidence.  Using Tomahawk missiles to cripple Assad’s inhumane and illegal use of such weapons makes sense from a tactical perspective and the administration may have independently come to the same conclusion.  Of course, the White House did not acknowledge that it’s “hands off Syria” statements since January 20 were a “green light” for Assad and his Russian allies to push the humanitarian envelope.

This incident was one more addition to the longest running joke among Washington policy wonks.  It began in 1964 and went something like this.

I was told if I voted for Barry Goldwater the United States would be engaged in a long-term war in Southeast Asia.  I voted for Barry Goldwater and they were right.  We are now engaged in a long-term war in Southeast Asia.

The next iteration involved Richard Nixon and China.

I was told if I voted for Hubert Humphrey, the U.S. would abandon its long standing commitment to the Republic of China (Taiwan) in favor of the communist-ruled People’s Republic of China (Red China).  I voted for Hubert Humphrey and they were right.  We abandoned Taiwan in favor of Red China.

An so on and so on, until this latest addendum best stated by Bruce Barlett, former aide to GOP stalwarts Ron Paul, Ronald Reagan, Jack Kemp and George H. W. Bush.

They told me if I voted for Hillary we’d be at war in Syria in 6 months.  I voted for Hillary and we were at war in Syria within 6 months.  (Source: Twitter @BruceBartlett)

Welcome to a Thursday in America.  It is exhausting but “Ain’t No One Got Time for That.”

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP