On January 6, 2021, I was fulfilling one of my duties as First Lady of the United States of America, and accordingly, I was unaware of what was simultaneously transpiring at the US Capitol Building.

As with all first ladies who preceded me, it was my obligation to record the contents of the White House’s historic rooms, including taking archival photographs of all the renovations. 

Former first lady melania trump, july 21, 2022

Why didn’t the Trumps have a pet dog in the White House? For fear, like Toto, it might pull back the curtains to expose the emperor’s wife who literally, on occasion, wore no clothes in public. Not since John Le Carre’s Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, has one individual played as many roles in a single espionage saga as Melania Trump.

According to her own account of how she reacted to the events on January 6th, she was not even encouraging rich kids at a parochial school to “Be Best!” Instead, she had her head buried in some newly laid carpet much as any cowardly lion would have. To make matters worse, she praised her ability to pull off this White House coup without a hitch.

Several months in advance, I organized a qualified team of photographers, archivists, and designers to work with me in the White House to ensure perfect execution.

I guess we should thank our lucky stars she was not in charge of the insurrection. Or had mentored Giuliani, Flynn, Bannon, Stone, Eastman, Powell, et. al. With her self-proclaimed level of executive skills, it might have succeeded.

For Melania to think we would buy her fable she must, as did the scarecrow, lack a brain. We would also have to believe she was also blind and deaf. Having been in the White House on occasion, I can tell you there are always secret service or military guards in every room. Surely, her own security detail would not have left her alone with a horde “…of photographers, archivists and designers.” And do not tell me there was no reaction to the chatter on agents’ headsets as the Capitol was breached and the vice-president was whisked to a secure location.

But even if you give her the benefit of the doubt, her Sargent Schultz justification–I saw nothing, I heard nothing, I know nothing–would be less damning if she had said, “If I had known…,” followed by any indication she actually cared. She might have condemned the attack on the Capitol and implored the rioters to go home. Or at least expressed sympathy for those who lost their lives defending “the People’s’ House.” But that requires a heart. More likely, she was wondering where she left her “I REALLY DON’T CARE DO U?” jacket.

Of course, we cannot give her the benefit of the doubt because we know she is lying. As Jim Comey would say, “Lordy, I hope there are tapes!” In this case there were no tapes, but we do have other receipts. At 2:42 PM on January 6th, just 18 minutes after Orange Mussolini put a bullseye on Mike Pence’s back, Melania’s former chief of staff Stephan Grisham sent her a tweet.

Do you want to tweet that peaceful protests are the right of every American, but there is no place for lawlessness & violence?

A rather strange request on what Melania perceived as an otherwise uneventful Wednesday afternoon. Out of curiosity, any living, breathing human would have asked, “Why would you ask me to do that?” You do not need to ask if you already know the answer. Instead, the cowardly, brainless and heartless first lady replied, “No”.

When I hear Liz Cheney say “Trump must never again be anywhere close to the Oval Office,” of course, I agree. But the same pertains to Melania and the White House. If we wanted someone in that position who was clueless, Alicia Silverstone would be first lady.

POSTSCRIPT

In addition to her service on the select committee, Liz Cheney has taught us something else. On July 19, Cheney joined 46 other GOP representatives and voted for the Respect for Marriage Act protecting the rights of same-sex unions in all states. Two days later she was one of eight Republicans to join Democrats in passing the Right to Contraception Act.

What does this suggest? Once you leave a cult, you can start to think for yourself again and listen to what your constituents want. I expect that as long as she remains in Congress she will continue to disagree with Democrats on economic issue such as taxes and regulations. She might oppose most social spending bills though I think she may occasionally surprise us. But on votes that protect constitutional rights and personal privacy, she seems to be all in. We can only hope others will follow her lead.

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP