When new movie releases are dominated by re-makes or re-boots, it is a clear signal writers and producers are short on new material.  This year has been no exception. From Hugh Jackman as Dr. Doolittle to Colin Firth as Mary’s guardian Archibald Craven in The Secret Garden to Elizabeth Moss fighting off The Invisible Man, I have found they have one thing in common.  Making me wish I might find the originals available for viewing on Turner Classic Movies or The Criterion Channel.

However, there is one re-boot I anxiously await.  Aaron Sorkin and Rob Reiner’s courtroom drama pitting a young Navy lawyer Daniel Kaffee (Tom Cruise) against Colonel Nathan Jessep (Jack Nicholson).  Sorkin and Reiner have promised to retain much of the pithy dialogue from A Few Good Men, especially in the final confrontation between the two adversaries.  Except in the new rendition the actors use their real names.  California congressman Adam Schiff has been cast as the prosecutor and Florida Senator Marco Rubio as the defendant who believes he is entitled to his own reality.

There is one other major deviation from the original.  The trial is not precipitated by the murder of PFC Willie Santiago by fellow marines for allegedly violating the corps’ code of honor.  In this latest adaptation, defendant Rubio is accused of being complicit in one final, desperate effort to cover up the Trump campaign’s coordination with Russian officials to influence the 2016 presidential election.

Spoiler Alert:  This morning I had a chance to screen excerpts from the film and feel it is my responsibility to share with you the conclusion of the final showdown between the two rivals.

Schiff:  Senator Rubio, if you thought the Russian investigation was a hoax why did you and other members of the committee like Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton and Texas Senator John Cornyn sign off on the Senate Intelligence report that confirmed everything in the Mueller report and more.  The three of you have been among the most vocal critics of the Mueller report and the impeachment of Donald Trump.

Rubio:  Because if there had been Russian collusion, the country would have been in danger.

Schiff:  Grave danger?

Rubio:  Is there another kind?

Schiff:  Senator, if, in writing (holds up the Senate Intelligence Committee’s report), you were willing to confirm the existence of coordination between the Russians and the Trump campaign and allege Donald Trump committed perjury by lying in his written testimony to the special counsel, why would you immediately tweet “WE found no evidence of collusion” ?

Rubio:  You want answers?

Schiff:  I think I’m entitled to them.

Rubio:  You want answers?!

Schiff:  I want the truth.

Rubio:  Neither you or Trump supporters can handle the truth…  Son, we live in a world with walls and Bibles that are props so Trump can pretend that he is protecting you from imaginary enemies.  And people like me have to guard those myths.  I have more responsibility to protect Donald Trump’s image than you can fathom.  You weep for America and curse Trump.  You don’t know what I know.  And my existence, while grotesque to you, ensures Trump and Mitch McConnell stay in power despite the fact that the Republican party has lost the popular vote in six of the last seven presidential elections and Democratic candidates for the Senate in 2018 received 12 million more votes than their GOP opponents.  We use words like hoax, fake news, rigged elections and enemy of the people.  They’re the backbone of our power.  I have neither the time or inclination to explain myself or Donald Trump to someone who questions the way we do things.  Better just to thank us.

Schiff:  Senator, did you and are you still covering up for Donald Trump?

Rubio:  I did the job he sent me to do.

Schiff:  Did you cover up for the president?

Rubio:  You’re goddamn right I did.

Schiff:  Your honor, I suggest the jury be dismissed so that we can move to an immediate Article 39a Session.  The witness has rights.

Rubio:  What the hell’s going on?  I did my job.  I’d do it again.  Now I’m getting on a plane and going back to Florida.

Judge: Sergeant-at-arms, please take the Senator into custody.

In case you’re wondering, Senator Rubio’s trial is scheduled for November, 2022 during which a jury of his constituents will have a chance to render judgment.  As he did during his 2016 run for the White House, Rubio will no doubt look to divine providence for guidance in waging his defense.  Matt Damon has already secured the movie rights and hired Paul Greengrass to direct.  The working title?  You guessed it.  The Bourne-Again Ultimatum.

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP