Category Archives: Media

UNREAL Oscar Contenders

 

Award season is upon us.  And since becoming an UNREAL American, it seems only appropriate to establish UNREAL events, the first being the UNREAL academy awards on February 26th.  Although the final nominations will not be released until tomorrow morning, a number of 2016 films are considered to be the front runners.  Here are just a few.  (NOTE:  Thanks to IMDB and WikiPedia for the synopses of these titles on which some of the parodies are based.)

FAVORITES

Arrival (Paramont Pictures)

When mysterious visitors begin to gather in the nation’s capital on January 20, 2017, Washington area real estate agent Louise Banks is tasked with interpreting the language they use as the visitors attempt to establish permanent residence in the federal enclave.

Fences (Paramount Pictures)

Interim House Budget Committee Chair Diane Black (R-Tenn) informs president-elect Trump building a wall to keep out Hispanic immigrants is financially unfeasible.  She suggests he build a more modest barrier at a fraction of the cost.  Tom Sawyer Enterprises submits a bid for a four foot high picket fence which includes whitewashing.

Hidden Figures (Fox 2000 Pictures)

The story of African-American mathematician Katherine Johnson and her two colleagues, who, while working in the segregated Urban Area Computers division of the Trump Campaign, calculated the consequences of the GOP nominee not releasing his tax returns.  Using their calculations, Donald Trump is able to avoid revealing multiple conflicts of interest and changes his campaign slogan from “Make America Great Again” to “What Me Worry!”

La La Land (Summit Entertainment)

An American romantic musical comedy-drama in which 8,753,788 Californians sing and dance their way through the 2016 presidential election believing they can make a difference by voting for Hillary Clinton.  As is true with much that happens in Hollywood, this is only an illusion.

Zootopia (Walt Disney Pictures)

Animated film in which a female rabbit Judy Hopps (voiced by Hillary Clinton) believes she can become the first Lapine president. Despite serving as first bunny, senator and secretary of state, Judy’s aspirations are snuffed out by Chief Bogo (Donald Trump), who doubts her potential because rabbits are frail and emotional.  She is hustled by Nick Wilde (Steve Bannon) and Finnick (Kellyanne Conway) a con artist duo of FOXes.

HONORABLE MENTION

Hell or High Water (CBS Films)/Following U.S. withdrawal from the Paris climate accords, Mar-a-Lago is inundated by rising sea levels.

Florence Foster Jenkins (Paramount Pictures)/In a gender reversal remake (ala Ghostbusters 2016) of the election, a wannabe presidential candidate takes center stage when family and friends convince her she is the real deal.

Nocturnal Animals (Focus Features)/A cult of 3:00 am tweeters discover a new role model.

Silence (Paramount Pictures)/Promises by the president-elect to hold press conferences to discuss how he plans to extricate himself from his business and his view of Russian intervention in the 2016 election vanish into the ether.

That’s it from UNREAL central for now.  Stay tuned for more UNREAL events throughout the year.

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP

 

Carrie Fisher & UN Resolution 2334

 

Star Wars has a special meaning for me and my wife.  We went to see The Empire Strikes Back the day we got married in 1980.  We own a copy of the original Star Wars trilogy and watch Episode V every July 11th if we are home.  So you can imagine yesterday’s announcement Carrie Fisher had passed away saddened us greatly.

Upon returning home from a short vacation, I turned on CNN hoping there would be reminders of the hours of enjoyment Fisher provided through her films, books and too infrequent appearances on talk shows.  I was not disappointed.  Besides the usual, easy to access clips from Star Wars, her other movies, the one woman show Wishful Drinking and assorted TV appearances, I was amazed at the length the CNN research team had gone to in order to present a full picture of a life cut short.

CNN had even obtained a copy of a then relatively unknown 19 year old’s first audition tape for the role of Princess Leia.  Seated in a wooden chair across from Harrison Ford, Fisher delivers her lines with a much stronger British accent than used during filming.  The CNN commentator parsed the video to explain why Fisher’s audition vaulted her ahead of other well known actors such as Jodie Foster who were also being considered for the part.

Although the headline for almost every on-line and broadcast obituary referenced her iconic role as Princess Leia, each seemed to go out of its way to make readers and viewers understand Carrie Fisher was no one-hit wonder.  She was a talented performer and writer of both books and screenplays.  She was a fighter who constantly battled depression and prescription drug additions to share her talents and experiences with the world.

STOP!  I can hear one of the students in my imagination class interrupt.  “Okay, professor.  We know you are a big Star Wars fan.  And we know you were saddened by Leia’s passing.  But what does that have to do with a UN resolution condemning Israel for building settlements on occupied territory on the West Bank?”  My reply, “It’s just one more example of looking for relationships between seemingly unrelated things and how that relationship helps you understand both issues better.”

Twice over the past four days, I had friends express their anger at Obama’s decision to abstain rather than veto Security Council Resolution 2334.  Their opinion were unsolicited.  We were not talking politics or international affairs at the time.  Maybe they knew I was an Obama supporter and just wanted to hear how I, a Jewish-American, could defend the president.  I listened politely without showing my cards largely because, even though I did have an opinion, I was unsure of the facts which might support my perspective.  Above all, I had not read the full text of the resolution.

And that is when I realized the connection between Carrie Fisher and SC2334.  While print and broadcast media went to extremes to help us understand the entirety of her life, the news associated with the U.S. abstention was painted with a broad, emotional brush.  Media were more interested in exploring the animosity between President Obama and Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu or the tension between the out-going and in-coming administration.  Little if any time was spent on UN Ambassador Susan Powers’ detailed explanation of the vote including on-going concerns about both Israeli and Palestinian roadblocks to a lasting peace.  And in most cases, the actual text of the resolution was no where to be found or referenced in American media accounts.

Yes, SC2334 condemned construction of additional settlements in violation of existing UN resolutions dating back to 2003.  But it also contained the following language.

Recalling also the obligation under the Quartet roadmap for the Palestinian Authority Security Forces to maintain effective operations aimed at confronting all those engaged in terror and dismantling terrorist capabilities, including the confiscation of illegal weapons,

Condemning all acts of violence against civilians, including acts of terror, as well as all acts of provocation, incitement and destruction,

Reiterating its vision of a region where two democratic States, Israel and Palestine, live side by side in peace within secure and recognized borders.

How many of the most ardent critics of the President’s decision not to veto SC2334 are aware of this language?  If only the media would put the same time and effort into explaining a complex geopolitical issue as they do unraveling the history of a cultural icon.

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP

 

The “Anti-Nixon”?

 

As a political science major in 1969, I was intrigued by Joe McGinniss’ The Selling of the President 1968 which chronicled how marketers packaged and sold the “new Nixon” to the American public. Their task was not an easy one.  A bitter, angry Richard Nixon had temporarily departed the political scene in 1962 following his defeat to Edmund G. Brown for governor of California with the admonition, “You won’t have Richard Nixon to kick around any more.”

Perhaps, the best description of the “new Nixon” of 1968 is contained in a December 1967 editorial in the Eugene, Oregon Register-Guard following a speech at the University of Oregon.

(Attendees) said they found him more relaxed, more given to easy humor, less testy than the drawn, tired figure who debated Jack Kennedy or the angry politician who conceded his California defeat with such ill grace. They noted he pitched his talk to youth, urging the predominantly college audience to get involved in causes bigger than themselves.

What many of us did not understand at the time was the extent to which the candidate himself was the unintentional target of the media blitz designed to reshape his image.  In light of Watergate, dirty tricks, the enemies list and resignation, one might argue he did not pay sufficient attention to the message.  Despite the personality flaws which led to his political demise, his policies were very much in tune with the portraiture inked during the 1968 campaign.  For example, instead of the rampant anti-communist, Nixon opened the door to a new era of American-Chinese relations.  In 1960, he ran on a platform of states rights.  As president he expanded the reach of the federal government, creating the Environmental Protection Agency and supporting passage of Title IX which guaranteed equal funding for girls’ athletics at educational institutions.

Sadly, we will never be the beneficiaries of a similar chronicle of the 2016 election as McGinniss died of prostate cancer at the age of 71 in March 2014.  Having read many of his other books including Fatal Vision about the Jeffrey MacDonald murder case and The Last Brother: The Rise and Fall of Teddy Kennedy, I appreciated McGinniss’ ability to point out how ironic life can be.  Therefore, I would expect no less in the forever missing Selling of the President 2016.

Would McGinniss have described Donald Trump as the “anti-Nixon?”  While Nixon’s handlers urged him to be more measured and less threatening in 1968, Trump’s resurgence in the polls began when campaign strategists encouraged their candidate to be the untethered, politically incorrect firebrand for whom disaffected voters yearned. Family and associates tell us this is not the “real Trump.”  None of this matters.  Like Nixon, the real questions are, “Did the president-elect buy his own sales pitch?  Will he govern in accordance with the persona he sold to voters during the campaign?”  Or as he hinted in an interview Tuesday with the editorial staff of the New York Times, was this all just an act? Only time will tell.

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP

 

Fake to Faux to Fact

 

Being a counter-intuitive thinker is fun.  When you reject conventional wisdom and look for alternative explanations in every aspect of life, you begin seeing the world as it might be, not just how others want you to see it.  People who take themselves too seriously often fail the counter-intuitive thinking test.

One such person is Kathy Griffin, someone whose humor I thoroughly enjoy.  She has made a pretty good living sharing her encounters with the rich (e.g. Steve Wozniak) and famous (e.g. Barbara Walters) which she has now parlayed into a new book titled Celebrity Run-Ins. During her current book tour, Griffin shared an excerpt in which she is seated next to Woody Allen at a dinner sponsored by AOL.  She describes the evening as “uncomfortable,” pointing to the following Allen comments as the reason for her assessment of the situation.

  • He introduced his wife Soon-Yi as his “child bride.”
  • He claimed he has watched every episode of Hannah Montana starring Miley Cyrus, whom Allen hired to appear in his forthcoming Amazon TV series, “Crisis in Six Scenes.”
  • He says, “And now I have to watch my friend Bill Cosby get railroaded.”

It did not take long for the mainstream media to jump on the story as evidenced by the following headlines.

  • Woody Allen alledgedly told Kathy Griffin he had to watch Bill  Cosby ‘get railroaded,’ called wife Soon-Yi Previn his ‘child bride’ (NY Daily News)
  • Woody Allen Is Creepier Than You Imagined (Esquire)
  • Kathy Griffin’s ‘Jaw-Dropping’ Story About Woody Allen Will Shock You (Huffington Post)

For heaven’s sake, IT WAS WOODY ALLEN, the person who, among other things, has said:

  • If only God would give me a clear sign!  Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
  • I don’t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
  • My luck is getting worse and worse.  Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a Quaker.
  • I had a terrible education.  I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
  • In California, they don’t throw their garbage away — they make it into TV shows.

Instead of viewing the encounter as “shocking,” Griffin could just as easily referred to the experience as “the time I got punked by Woody Allen.”  Knowing she is always seeking new material for her one-woman shows, I have little doubt Allen decided, “Oh, I’ll give her something to talk about.”  The tell-tale clue is Allen’s reference to Bill Cosby.  If you Google the term “Woody Allen Bill Cosby friendship” there are 453,000 hits.  There is just one problem.  Not a single one suggests any level of amity between the two.   There is not even one example of a joint appearance.  Virtually every post which includes both names focuses on how differently the two celebrities have been treated following disclosure of alleged sexual deviancy.

Griffin’s possibly being the fall-gal for Allen’s impishness is nothing new. A song in Bob Fosse’s semi-autobiographical film All That Jazz titled “Everything Old Is New Again,” reminded me of a similar prank I observed many years ago.  While attending a George McGovern fundraiser in 1972, some of the guests were discussing the impact of  R. Sargeant Shriver replacing Missouri Senator Thomas Eagleton as the vice-presidential nominee.  Eagleton had recently resigned from the ticket after confirming he had been treated on multiple occasions, including shock therapy, for depression and stress.

A friend of mine Jim Savarese broke into the conversation and informed the group, “You know, his closest friends don’t call him Sarge, they call him ‘Bob’.” Not a month later, at another McGovern rally, I heard someone repeat this manufactured falsehood.  Jim’s prank had gone viral.

Are we just gullible?  Is it some desire to be “in the know?”  Or to be part of the “in crowd?”  For whatever reason, we seem to increasingly accept gossip as gospel.  In the case of a waggish celebrity or what one should call a Kennedy in-law, it is hard not to appreciate the humor intended.  But when fake stories become faux news and then are spread as fact,  we start living in a world of deception and unfounded reality which have real consequences.  Laughter may be the best medicine, but disinformation seems to be a growing epidemic.

As the media continues to assess what everyone got wrong during the past year, a mirror would be a good place to start.

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP

 

Did They REALLY Say That? Part II

 

Welcome back.  The second installment is based on quotes ranked 51 through 100 by the American Film Institute.

#52  You had me at “hello.”  (Jerry Maguire, 1996)  The alt-right movement explains when they knew they had a champion in Donald Trump.

#53  One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas.  How he got in my pajamas, I don’t know.  (Animal Crackers, 1930)  Eric Trump tells dad about his latest African safari.

#55  La-dee-da, la-dee-da.  (Annie Hall, 1977)  Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson lays out his drug policy.

#58  Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.  (The Godfather II, 1974)  Hillary Clinton explains why she will be holding joint rallies with Bernie Sanders.

#59  As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again.  (Gone With the Wind, 1939)  New Jersey Governor Chris Christie inspects the galley on Trump’s private plane.

#60  Well, here’s another nice mess you’ve gotten me into!  (Sons of the Desert, 1933)  New inscription on the Statue of Liberty.

#61  Say “hello” to my little friend!  (Scarface, 1983)  Favorite pick-up line used by Anthony Wiener, Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, Newt Gingrich, Rudy Guliani, et. al.

#62  What a dump.  (Beyond the Forest, 1949)  Donald and Melania’s first impression of the White House.

#65  Elementary, my dear Watson.  (The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, 1939)  When asked about their level of education by IBM’s automated pollster, the most common answer among Trump voters.

#66  Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape.  (Planet of the Apes, 1968)  Picked up on a “hot” microphone in the dressing room at the Miss Universe contest.

#69  They’re here.  (Poltergeist, 1982)  Secret Service informs President Obama the Trumps have arrived for their meeting two days after the election.

#70  Is it safe?  (Marathon Man, 1976)  What Clinton voters asked on the morning of November 9 while peeking through the slightly ajar doors of their homes and dormitories.

#71  Wait a minute, wait a minute.  You ain’t heard nothin’ yet.  (The Jazz Singer, 1927)  Trump’s response to reporters’ questions following his claim that Mexico is sending rapists and murderers to the United States.

#73  Mother of mercy, is this the end of Rico.  (Little Caesar, 1930)   Press questions whether president-elect Trump will repeal racketeering laws in addition to the Affordable Care Act and Dodd-Frank.

#76  Hasta la vista, baby.  (Terminator 2: Judgment day, 1991)  Heading on INS notification to birthright children of undocumented Mexican immigrants.

#77  Soylent Green is people!  (Soylent Green, 1973)   Soylent, Inc. lawyer argues his client should have the same rights as other corporations under Citizens United v. Federal Elections Commission.

#79  Surely you can’t be serious….I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley.  (Airplane!, 1980)  Trump tells newly appointed chief of staff Reince Priebus he’s not joking about the border wall and Mexico paying for it.

#81  Hello, gorgeous.  (Funny Girl,  1968)  Trump’s first words each morning as he looks in the mirror.

#82  Toga! Toga!  (National Lampoon’s Animal House, 1978)  Gary Johnson’s answer to the question, “What order from the commander of the Japanese air force signaled the beginning of the attack on Pearl Harbor?”

#86  Attica!  Attica!  (Dog Day Afternoon, 1975)   The uppermost story of a Mexican-American’s casa where deportation forces will look for undocumented immigrants.

#96  Snap out of it!  (Moonstruck, 1987)   College students awaken roommates from alcohol and drug-induced stupors which include flashbacks to a world in which 2016 is still in the future.

#99  I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!  (The Wizard of Oz, 1939)  WikiLeaks and the Russians inform the Trump campaign that Hillary and Bill have a new canine pet.

#100  I’m the king of the world!  (Titanic, 1997)  Opening line of Trump’s inauguration address.

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP