Besides being one of the funniest road shows in years, the Blue Collar Comedy Tour often delivers a nugget or two of common sense.  For example, Ron White, a member of the troupe reminds us:

If your eyes go bad, you can have LASIK surgery and have 20/20 vision at any age.  If your hearing starts to fail, they can put a device in your ear that will make you able to hear as good as the day your were born.  But let me tell you something folks, you can’t fix stupid.  There’s not a pill you can take.  There’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever!

Not to be outdone by White, Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall and Larry the Cable Guy, the Trump administration assembled its own quartet of jokesters to entertain us following the 2018 mid-term elections.  Here are excerpts from their latest album.

Donald the Cabal Guy

After a less than successful national tour in October and early November, Donald realized many of his favorite jokes–build the wall, lock her up, drain the swamp–had lost their punch.  So, this week he decided to try out some new material before hitting the road again.

On voter fraud, Trump came up with some truly fresh content.  Instead of the three million illegal immigrants who cost him the popular vote in 2016, he found multiple voting to be more riotous.  In a pre-performance interview with The Daily Caller, Trump explained:

When people get in line that have absolutely no right to vote and they go around in circles.  Sometimes they go to their car, put on a different hat, put on a different shirt, come in and vote again. Nobody takes anything. It’s really a disgrace what’s going on.

I would not be surprised if Trump provided the above FL identification as proof his humor was based on fact.  YOU CAN’T FIX STUPID!

Donald Trump, Jr.

First son Donald, Jr. thought his dad had challenged him to a game of “Can You Top This?” Trump’s oldest acorn claimed Democrats allowed convicted felons to cast ballots.  To prove his point, Junior highlighted the example of the Parkland school shooter who did, in fact, register to vote while awaiting trial.  First, at the present time, the shooter has been convicted of NOTHING and is still eligible to vote under Florida law.  You can chalk that up to ignorance of the law.  But, more importantly, the shooter registered as a REPUBLICAN.  Failing to check that out is more than ignorant.  It’s just plain STUPID.  And, YOU CAN’T FIX STUPID!

Sarah Huckabee Saunders

After no one was buying her boss’ blaming the weather and then the secret service for his decision not to attend a  ceremony to commemorate the World War I armistice at the Aisne-Marne cemetery outside of Paris, the White House press secretary took the ship of state on a different tack.  According to Ms. Sanders, “President Trump did not want to cause that kind of unexpected disruption to the city and its people.”  Sure.  Just ask the residents of Palm Beach County, Florida about disrupting the city or its people.  Or the same way Trump did not want to disrupt memorials for the Jewish victims of the Pittsburgh synagogue shooting despite bi-partisan requests for him to wait until after their funerals.  YOU CAN’T FIX STUPID!

Marco Rubio

There is nothing a Red Cap Comedy Tour audience appreciates more than a good biblical gag.  And Senator Rubio did not disappoint.  Yesterday, he brought the crowd to its feet with a punchline straight out of Ecclesiastes via the digital Bible, TWITTER.

15  What is crooked cannot be straightened, what is lacking cannot be counted.

If only he had not taken the sentence out of context.  The overarching message in Ecclesiastes 1:1-18 is how fruitless it is to assume we can understand all we observe and learn.  It ends with King Solomon admitting, “For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.”  Mario, thanks for warning us.  As you inadvertently suggest, the more we learn about Trump and his complicit supporters, the more we grieve for the nation, democracy and the rule of law.  YOU CAN’T FIX STUPID!

But as we learned last week, you CAN vote it out of office.

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP