My Facebook Troll Teacher

A lot of people say that an octopus is like an alien…You’re stepping into this completely different world. Such an incredible feeling. And you feel you’re on the brink of something extraordinary. But you realize that there’s a line that can’t be crossed.

~Craig Foster/My Octopus Teacher (2020)

If you follow me on Facebook, you know most of my time there is dedicated to defining our incumbent congressman Aaron Bean as the wrong person in the wrong job. He thinks success in his position is based on the number of photo opportunities instead of legislating. As I regularly point out, in his almost three years as our representative, he has introduced 35 bills, of which most have merely been referred by the Speaker to a committee where they meet a merciful death. The one bill that has been signed into law on May 1, 2024, by (drum roll) President Joe Biden is H.R. 3947, “to designate the facility of the United States Postal Service in Melrose, Florida, as the Pamela Jane Rock Post Office Building.” [NOTE: I wonder why Aaron is not questioning whether this act would be null and void if the White House used an autopen to certify this singular tribute to the congressman’s legislative skills.]

Aaron’s press office is very good at touting the “One Big Beautiful Bill” at every opportunity. However, like most of his MAGA colleagues, he refuses to defend it at an in-person town hall. Nor does he ever acknowledge the consequences of Trump’s Project 2025 and America First agendas. Then how will the voters in Florida District #4 ever hear the truth? To paraphrase Otter and Bluto in National Lampoon’s Animal House (1978):

DR ESP (playing both parts): Now we could fight Aaron with conventional weapons but that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, in this case I think we have to go all out. This situation absolutely requires a really futile, stupid gesture on somebody’s part. And I’m just the guy to do it!

Therefore, with a little research and help from Microsoft Copilot, I began posting a series of cartoons in which I point out Aaron’s repeated failure to admit that six months of Trump 2.0 has been an unqualified disaster. The latest example was the announcement that Norway would be buying $13.6 billion worth of navy frigates from Great Britain. During the press conference at which Norway’s prime minister Jonas Gahr Store announced the deal, he said factors on which the decision was based included, “Who is our most strategic partner? And who has delivered the best frigates?… The answer to both is the United Kingdom.” What better evidence does one need that “America First” is “great news” for everyone except U.S. businesses. I then suggested Aaron could do what he does best, photobomb a picture of Store and British prime minister Keir Starmer consummating the contract per the following cartoon.

You are probably asking, “What does this have to do with a Facebook Troll Teacher?” Let me explain how his response taught me again that Trump 2.0 is like an iceberg. The obvious is visible above the water line. But if you dive deeper into the substance, you realize you have only scratched the surface.

My troll, whom I will refer to only by his initials JK, seemed at first to be agreeing. He began, “Great News!” But of course, in his eyes, it had nothing to do with Norway and Great Britain. “Brazil doesn’t seem to need our $73 million of U.S. tax dollars for ‘economic aid’! And India can return their $154 million!”

Even though his comment was irrelevant, I foolishly thought this was an opportunity to point out that, before passing judgment, you need to look at the bigger picture. “If you only look at the expenditure side of an investment it often does not make sense until you look at the return on that investment.” Again, JK attempts full-MAGA misdirection. “lol! What was the purpose of the aid? Make them successful? Unlike welfare for Americans- make them dependent!”

Maybe the third time would be the charm. I replied, “The only point I was trying to make is the “America First” agenda is costing U.S. companies foreign business. That’s a FACT!” Wrong again. The standard MAGAverse retort, “thank the Democrats…”

Thank them for what? Was JK suggesting Democrats were responsible for wasting taxpayer dollars on foreign aid to Brazil and India, even though that had nothing to do with the topic du jour? Only one way to find out. Go to the U.S. government website (foreignassistance.gov) that provides historical data on foreign aid by country. Let’s begin with Brazil. For fiscal year 2017, Barack Obama’s last budget, foreign aid to Brazil totaled $29.3 million. By fiscal year 2020, when Trump was president, aid to Brazil increased to $89.8 million. What could possibly hve happened that would lead to a three-fold increase? Oh, Trump endorsed populist candidate Jair Bolsonaro became president. Surely, Trump expected something in return for this handout. For the record, by this end of his term in office, Biden reduced aid to Brazil to $59 million, a $30 million reduction.

The same is true for India. When Obama left office foreign aid to India totaled $105 million. Trump’s FY2021 budget again represented a three-fold increase to $317 million. By the end of the Biden administration, that had been halved to $165 million.

So, exactly what did I learn from My Facebook Troll Teacher? As Craig Foster suggested, when you dip your toe into the MAGAverse, “You’re stepping into this completely different world.” A world where everyone from the leader on down has perfected the art of misdirection. And it did feel I was “on the brink of something extraordinary.” The extraordinary ability of individuals to identify a perceived grievance (e.g. increased foreign aid to countries that don’t need it) but attach the offense to the wrong perpetrator.

And lastly, “there is a line that can’t be crossed.” Perhaps that line is best described by Tim Wise of Medium.com. “There are better uses of our energy than trying to convert MAGA nation.”

For what it’s worth.
Dr. ESP